Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

I don’t know what to say or write… there’s this specific someone. I don’t know what to say to him…i don’t know what to talk about but maybe this could be kinda letter which he’ll never receive.
I fell for you. I was in love with you all the way long. 4.5 freaking years i loved you without listening to your voice everyday, without seeing you everyday. I know i did not commit to you because my heart knew that my feelings for you were not on the same level as yours were. But within last 6 months you changed. You changed you cheated, you betrayed. I never knew where you used to be or what you were doing in the last 4.5 years. But i trusted you blindly, respected you. You used to be my escape a safe place to hide to. That was all i knew. You screwed up everything in these last 6 months. Literally every fucking thing. We had something special you knew it. Above everything we had that special friendship and you ruined it as well. I don’t know how to blame you anymore. How to hate you. It’s just it’s been a week now. And i miss you more than anything. I don’t want your kisses or the fake i love yous. I just want you to hug me tight and tell me that you screwed up. I don’t want anything else from you. The way you’ve hurt me and broke me. Things are never getting the same ever again. You should have told me the truth yourself. There’s this
dilemma in my head now, i mean i miss you more than anything. But at the same time i never want you back again. Ever. It’s just I love you. There’s a part of me that is gone with you now. I miss that every single day. I hope you realise your mistakes one day. I miss you.