I don’t know what to do anymore… I feel like no matter how hard I try to be better I always fall back into a dark place and everyone around me thinks I’m a happy person. The only person that has ever made me feel happy and like things would get better now feels like a stranger. I see her posts and it makes me smile seeing her so happy. She’s the only person I’ve ever felt safe letting my emotions out to but now if I was to message her even just a hello and how are you going I apparently make her feel like shit. It’s not far away from her birthday and I would love to send her a happy birthday message but I also don’t want to because I want her to be able to have and amazing day and not have me ruin it.
I’ve had some of my “friends” say that I need to forget about her but i moved away to try to start over but no matter how many new people I meet that I feel like I am getting closer to she is always the one person I can never get out of my head after everything we had gotten through and I am so proud of how far she has come.
I don’t know if anything makes sense but that’s just what’s on my mind
