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Anonymous

I don’t know how to start this but as a child I was always afraid of sciences ( maths , physics and chemistry ) . My tenth was very stressful I literally counted days to pass I finally got a good result in 10 th (90 %)
Then I was supposed to do My inter ( 11 th and 12 th in state syllabus) I was in a stage where I was ready to take any course except PCM ( physics,chemistry and maths ) . I cried for days and days to convince my parents but they didn’t .
They always wanted me to do this (they are not strict) but because everyone in my family are engineers they didn’t accept any other course ( infact I was soo much into psychology) they convinced me to just study for 2 years and I can choose anything for my undergrad . I finally gave up on convincing them and I was so tired to even fight with them …
They won !
I ended up talking that course and I know how many days I cried after joining there.
I still remember those times when I felt like giving up my life than facing those exams because all I knew was I was not happy and wouldn’t pass my exams.
I remember how I hated everyday !
That was a difficult phase and somehow I survived for 2 years and passed out with 90 % again and then they told me to take engineering ( I did score really well in my entrance exam too)
But only I know how much I hated it and how it feels to be doing something that I don’t love ( forget about love I don’t even like it! )
From my 8 th standard I was very much into psychology and I always wanted to help people!
I did appear for an entrance ( I applied in the best university) I was given a choice for that University because my parents clearly didn’t want to sent me far . And this universe is really really close to where we live .
I couldn’t make it through the final round
I was devastated at that moment!
I almost made it!! Because of this covid they changed the rules and I didn’t get through!

I was left with one option that was engineering and my parents were happy because I got it in nearest college and it was a free seat so they didn’t have to pay donation.
And now sometimes I ll have second thoughts like should I should try again for that university despite knowing I cannot waste an year and my parents will definitely not allow me to
Eventually I started accepting the reality and I stopped caring about what I like and what I don’t.
I am fine now
I am not depressed
But sometimes when I talk to my parents about how they convinced me to do PCM and engineering ( sometimes we crack jokes ) but I don’t know why , when I recollect those times when I literally had no motivation to live and when I think how I survived each and everyday I feel like breaking down ( I never really prolonged this topic with my parents because I know I can’t control my tears and I still feel that pain in my throat ! It still hurts deep down !! )

I don’t know when and how will I even be able to get over this !

Suggestions please !

Profile picture for Now&Me member @aachi
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6 replies
Profile picture for Now&Me member @aachi
@aachi

Man, you’re SO STRONG!
I still feel that you should do what you like. Poori life barbad hone se acha h, ek saal kardo.

The reason you breakdown is that you somewhere deep down wish that you did psychology and you wouldn’t probably deny that if offered to you. I feel you should try looking for dual degree programmes, might be good for both you and your parents.

Or have courage and stop listening to them, I mean that’ll be really good for you.

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Anonymous

Thanks alot!
I will give it a second thought!
Thanks alot man!

@kuzhal

Totally agree with @aachi

@dentist2015

Hey
I don’t know if you’ll get over it as such because you’re entire life will now be based on what you’re doing. It’ll just get less hard to think about. But you can always choose to do something that you’ll find interesting later in life. I would suggest you sit and have a conversation with your family about how difficult it is for you to be doing what you’re doing. But then again if you’re family is like any other family that I’ve known then they’d probably sweet talk you into not wasting time and how this is good and how you’ll settle early and all. And I’m pretty sure you must’ve tried talking to them about it too. So the only few options you have left is to accept this and somehow finish it and find something that interests you in this area of expertise. Or quit it and do psychology? Or try to do some online courses or fellowships or something like that which is close to what you want to do. Idk if this will help you or not career wise but I do get what you’re saying and I hear what you’re saying.

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Anonymous

Can’t thank you enough! I already feel better because somone actually understood me ! And how I feel!
Again thanks alot!!

@hj45

Hi,
If u are interested in studying psychology then don’t stop yourself start learning from internet and start apply on your parents as well😂😂😂(jokes apart).
I am also an CS engineer and i am interested in astrology and always excited to learn new things and try on different ppl according to their information.
Its quite a fun to do that…
And please make your heart strong and start letting go things which were not in your control.

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