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MotivationThought

@notokayrn98

I don’t feel well mentally.
I’ll explain my situation, first.
My girlfriend (distance relationship) is currently struggling to start a career. I’m always there to support and help her with everything I have and everything I can. But the demotivation she holds always makes me grind and use all my positivity to help her out. Sometimes, I’m successful, sometimes I’m not. Now, it’s been about a year that she’s been trying her best but this pandemic has been keeping her away from opportunities and the demotivation is building up. It grows even further as she gets to see that I’m progressing well in my career and hasn’t even started. Somewhere in motivating her at all times, my mental health is getting used up completely and I feel tired. I am doing my job the whole day and when I’m back home, I’m just trying to lift her up, all the time. Maybe I need a break but I’m not ready to leave her alone in such a crucial, rather testing time. But I need something to help me keep fighting for her, keep her spirits up at all times. I’m totally exhausted mentally, right now. What do I do? I exercise, meditate. But it’s sucking up everything I have. I fear this may lead to our breakup but I really don’t want it. Not now, not ever. She’s too good for me to break apart. Hope I’m able to put forth my situation good enough to get some good helping suggestions. Thanks.

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12 replies
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Anonymous

Hey!
Talk to her about how you feel
Communication is the key!
You’ve been doing a great job in helping her out! Don’t pressurize yourself too much. These are hard times this too shall pass, good days will come :)

@notokayrn98

Yes, we are good in terms of communication. We discuss each and everything. But this phase is just sucking out everything from us mentally.
Thanks for understanding.

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Anonymous

So … I can understand your situation
Btw first can I know her qualifications and age?

@notokayrn98

She is a bachelor’s in civil engineering, 21. I don’t how is this going to help but yeah. And thanks!

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Anonymous

I was thinking of getting her employed to solve your problem a bit if she would be of my area.
I know few civil engineers they also had hard time! You can ask her for freelance working to make few designs of her own based on how she thinks some structure n all should be using CAD (that’s the software they use). Or acquire some side skill like content writing etc. To do freelancing. Hope it helps

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Anonymous

And on your mental health bro from the age of 20-30 we experience very different experiences of which we don’t even know how to react or even how to let it not affects us… struggles are part of life… just give time to yourself on a daily basis considering that it is important for your mental health. And ask your girlfriend to do the same!! Yeah this too shall pass but it takes time like years!! So just keep doing what you are doing exercise meditation or anything to make yourself deal with the situation you are in.

@notokayrn98

Freelancing requires a bit of experience. She is well versed with CAD and has been learning some new softwares to catch up with the domain as well. It’s still getting difficult. Hope everything will be fine soon.

Shalin Gupta @shalin99

Just spend one day make her forget all her worries and problems just for one day this way you both get a free time and both of you can have relaxation, that also might help you to figure out what you should do.

@notokayrn98

This pandemic has been keeping us apart for months now. But that doesn’t interfere in our communication, but anyway. Thanks a lot.

Shalin Gupta @shalin99

Then try to come up with something you can do. You know like create a meeting on zoom app and watch movie together on it something like that.
You know your girlfriend better than anyone so i think you can come up with some idea to enjoy.

Sanket @sanket

Rough phase perhaps, this is the scenario that will leech all the energy from both of you, but you know what is waiting at the end of this scenario? Her smile, her love towards you, her gratitude!
It is likely to get into a heated argument so be very careful henceforth. Somehow think of keeping her engaged all the time. Getting a job is quite difficult these days but it is not necessary to get a job into a field in which she has a qualification. She can also search for temporary jobs - calling assistant, data entry, tutor…
She will at least be engaged and will also start earning some amount of money.

But brother keep fighting, keep struggling, you know that smile on her face will make it all meaningful, all worthy! Good luck!

@notokayrn98

Much relieving. Thanks!

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