Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

I cannot propose to a girl in future. I believe that I cannot propose to any girl about my feelings for her. I feel that in the past, I wasn’t able to propose to any girl so now also, I feel strongly that I cannot propose to any girl now and in future. I believe that if I propose to a girl then I would feel that she would reject me thus making me feel suicidal due to love failure. I believe that for me…love marriage will not happen. Even if girls approach me, I will not express my true feelings for her. Even if 10 girls come to me and propose to me, then also I will not accept her (inside I want to propose to her but I will not tell/express her).

I will not marry the person whom I have feelings for. I will not listen to my heart, instead I will listen to the experts who say to focus on Career only. I would say to myself that I am not male (who feels attracted to the opposite gender), instead I will say that my feelings are false.
I want to quit for the desire to propose to any girl.

I will hurt myself by not marrying the person whom I have feelings for. Let me cry, let sufferings happen. Let’s see what will happen.

And if someone or some teacher tells me that all these things (attraction) are natural things, then I will sue them that they’re deceiving me in the false direction by being a teacher.

Now no one, not even God will let me marry to the one whom I have feelings for.
I will challenge God that if I marry her (the person whom I have feelings for), then what’s the guarantee that she will not have an affair with another guy?

Okay, these are not my strengths to propose to a girl.
Instead, I should not focus on the things which I cannot do.
If I think that I cannot propose to a girl, then suffering will happen so I will focus on the things which I can do.

Okay, experts are saying that to focus on Goal statement and not on Girl statement, maybe they are saying for their selfish motive. But its’ up to me that whether I should opt for my friend’s advice (who says to me to marry the girl whom I love truly) but I will place the 2 opinions in front of me and I ‘ll select the most logical explanation. So I’ll reject my friends’ suggestions and opt for experts’ advice.

A girl (who knows I love her) is doing all her strategies to make me say that I love her….but I like to reply “Sorry” to her and even if she continues the conversation then I will ignore her.

When she approaches me, then I will say in my mind to her, that “Who is she to know whether I love her or not”? She can opt for arranged marriage. What is bothering her then??

Thank You.