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I am with a guy for the last 3and half years ,
for last two years we have been in long distance relationship ( different countries). I haven’t seen him for two years now. it’s really hard, also he is very controlling and insecure , tries to control what I wear etc . I just can’t keep it up , our parents know and we decided to get married but now I am having second thoughts. Everything’s seems wrong not only him but his family also tries to judge and change my life decisions ( career etc) . I want to break up but he is my comfort zone too ,plus my parents are very annoyed with my decision. I am absolutely lost.My parents consider me indecisive and that I am not taking any decision.I am scared and lost , what to do

6 Comments
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First of all keep calm, don’t panic.
Tell him in a serious way that come your contry to meet you.
I need to talk.
And, tell him everything, like you wrote here.
If you do so in front of him, it will be like once for all.
Or
talk to him in a serious way and tell all these things, like every single thing from controlling your career to clothing and other things.
Anyone can be insecure and might be controlling, because he loves you and don’t want to lose you, if you see his perspective.

If you have second thoughts, it might be because of long distance too.
Talk things out, plan meeting and tell him to come and else you won’t be happy in this marriage.
You parents will understand this in future, regarding your decision.

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w

While reading this, I realized that your situation is so similar to mine. My boyfriend also lives on a different continent. He went abroad like 4 years back, and during this period I only met him thrice. He is very insecure along with being a control freak. He doesn’t like me talking to my male colleagues. Doesn’t like me going out with my friends. Controls the way I dress. Even though I had this talk with him about his nature, he manipulated me and made me the wrong one.

It’s okay to have second thoughts. You’re going to spend your whole life with him. I totally understand how he seems to be your comfort zone as my boyfriend is my best friend and he is the person whom I talk to when I face a problem. Talk to your parents about this. Explain your emotions.

Hey!
The minute I read controlling it was damn, no one can do this and not when it comes to what and what not you can wear.
It’s your decision completely. Yes, the concern is one thing and we suggest but not dominate it, both are two different things. If his family is also like this which you said they are then toh definitely you need to RETHINK the whole scenario. They will dominate and try to make things work their way and trust me you will end up regretting.

He is your comfort zone doesn’t work here, my friend. It’s about your whole life and can’t be dependant on one thing. Not even if your parents say so. They will not be there you will be all alone.

Plus, it has to be balanced and equal efforts. If this isn’t going on, no point I see. You now have second thoughts MEANS you know the possible outcomes to the YES if you say in marriage.

Anonymous

Hey… plz don’t be afraid… Talk to him… it’s better u talk to him now… nd remember nobody cn ctrl ur life. It’s u who cn do this. Tell ur parents to support u.

p

Just listen to your gut. Don’t let anyone rule you. It’s your life, don’t just give anyone the chance to show authority on you. You’re precious. You deserve better!

m

You should step up and take your own decisions. Be your own boss. Why are you letting others control you? Live for yourself. Live the way you want. Its your life. And speaking of comfort zone, you’ve made it in your mind that he’s your comfort zone. Try to move on. Be your own comfort. What matters is that you are not happy and marriage is a very big decision. If you guys are meant to be together, then you’ll definitely be together. You have to stay strong and act boldly. Decide and decide now.