I am stuck… i can’t get out of this mess… I am a double drop year student, preparing for an entrance exam… which has lead to my total isolation… I can’t talk to anybody… no one understands me… all my friends have moved on with their life… i am extra… my family hates me… all they talk about is my weight and my academics… plus due to this lockdown and covid wave, my exams got postponed… and this pressure of what if I fail again is building up, I can’t handle it… I can’t sleep properly at night… I can’t handle this monotonous pressure… I can’t study at all…I procrastinate… maybe I am not worthy of having a life… I want to end it… I want to rest permanently… I want to quit or press a restart button of life… so that I can be better next time…i don’t want to be a burden on my family or shame them due to my failures… I am a worthless fellow who doesn’t deserve life… but I am so coward that I wasn’t able to cut my hand when I had the knife with me…i am stuck in a dense forest and I can see no path or traveller with me… i so want to leave this planet…
My friend, it courageous to not cut hand and not vica versa. Family do love you but sometime way of expression is such that they focus more on what they think needs improvement and fail to fully appreciate your effort. Friends come and go and keep changing. You will find new. What will happen if not succeed, nothing, there are many who do phenomenally well still, relax take break, do activities enjoy and then get back to studies.
