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⚕️Depression

🧑Anxiety

😰Stress

💗Relationships

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Long Distance RelationshipThought

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Anonymous

I am missing my boyfriend terribly. We are in a long-distance relationship. We are very serious about each other and are constantly in touch with each other via texting or video calling but some days I just wish I could feel his warm hug. The original plan was that he would join me in 3-4 months but for some reasons, beyond our control, he is unable to do so. Given the current circumstances, we don’t how long it will be before we see each other. We were so excited to start this new chapter in our lives that we had started hunting for apartments and looking for furniture to settle in this new place but now suddenly our plans and dreams have come to a standstill. We don’t know what to do anymore. We have done every possible thing to make it possible for him to join me but things are not in our control now.
We are head over heels in love with each other. This distance is creating severe mental stress for both of us which is affecting our work life and social life. And while we both acknowledge our feelings, I cannot open up much to him because I have to be his strength right now. I can fathom the stress he is going through and hence I don’t want to burden him with my sadness too. I have to stay positive and keep motivating him but on the inside, his absence is just ripping my heart. I start crying anytime, anywhere because I miss him. I try to distract myself but I fail miserably. I have started distancing myself from people because I don’t feel like talking to anyone. I always keep thinking about what it would be like if he were here. I don’ feel like having fun without him. Today I was sent home from work because I looked too sick and stressed to work. People have begun to check on me (which is really a very polite gesture but shows how much I am affected by all this) because they think that I am stressed and I may lose my sanity. I stay away from my family and my family doesn’t know that I am dating so I can’t share this with them.
I don’t know how to cope up with these feelings. I miss my boyfriend terribly. I feel totally helpless for him because I can neither improve his situation nor pacify him (because I don’t want to give him false hopes). We both love each other and we both are confident that we will make it through this but this journey is taking a toll on our mental health now. Can someone advise on how to cope up with these feelings?

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5 replies
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Anonymous

Hey, Distance is just physical not in love. As long as you love each other like you both do, nothing will come in between you two. Maybe this is just a rough chapter you know? Do not loose that faith. You will meet him soon.
Whenever you have negative thoughts reassure yourself that nothing wrong will happen.
But don’t forget to focus on yourself!

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Anonymous

Thank you so much for your kind response. I hope I meet him soon. And yes, I will try to take care of myself. Thank you.

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Anonymous

Take care, we are here for you.

@wie

Long distance relationships are indeed the most difficult ones. However, I am glad that you both are making it work, and how much you both love each other irrespective of the distance. I see that things are not going as planned, and it is surely uncertain how long things will be this way. But try and do not let these things come back and haunt you. Looks like you have completely entangled your life around him (which is what people in love do, nothing bad) but now that both of you are far from each other, that void is a torture. In distance no amount of calls and texts could fill the void. In my opinion, you should not distance yourself from people, try and hang out with your friends. You don’t have to feel guilty for having fun without him, that’s your sole right (and need of the hour). Nobody could replace the joy he could give you, but you should not let that space be empty. Apart from that, please priorities your emotions too. Sometimes we do not want to share our struggles with our partners because we think we might be burdening them. But if this is a relationship of equals, then you must share your emotions. At this time, you both have to be each other’s support. Communication your pure naked emotions is the only thing which will make you feel closer to each other. And while you’re alone, pamper yourself, take hot shower, cook for yourself, listen to music, paint your nails, water the plants, take a walk, just do anything, anything that makes you happy. You deserve to be happy, and there is nothing wrong in trying to make yourself happy when he’s far. I hope things get better and you’re together real soon. Sending love ❤️

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Anonymous

Thank you so much for your warm words. I really needed to hear this. I know that what I am doing with myself is not right. I will try to imbibe the things that you suggested. I really appreciate the time you took out to help me. Thank you. God bless you. Take care.

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