I am in an online friendship, and I’ve known this person for about two years. I’ve never felt so strongly about someone in my life, and I even think about marriage. Something about this crush feels different, genuine, passionate, but also somewhat distant. They don’t usually open up to people (they are an INTJ, if that helps), but they have somewhat opened up to me, which I am especially grateful for, due to the fact that this isn’t something they would normally do. They do kind of hint that this isn’t a truly real relationship because it is online, which I understand, but at times this statement hurts me more than it should; I feel like I will never amount to anything more than an online friend. Sometimes I feel like giving up on this relationship, and I did talk to them once about how I truly really felt, as they never initiated conversation and we only talked with month or more long breaks. You might think that this demonstrates their inability to care about me, and although that could’ve been partly the case, they just never had a closer relationship, and online relations were more about work than play. Our conversations were also pretty deep, and they lasted hours into the night, but that may be because they have terrible insomnia. They felt really terrible about treating me this way, and from then they started to hang out with me a lot more often. Sometimes I felt like I was being pitied in some way, or that they didn’t actually gaf, although that is probably my overthinking-mind speaking, because it’s been around two months and they still hang with me more.
It’s hard to pinpoint why I am sad, but I guess I’m just anxious about this relationship–treading vigilantly as to not make even one simple mistake. I don’t want to lose them; I really, really don’t. But if this never progresses any further, should I stop trying?
Ira Gray @iragray12
i have been in the same situation . i met thsi guy over instagram and we used to talk a lot with eachother . then after one year we both started having feelings for eachother b. but i always felt like he acted aloof at times which made me think that is this even worth it . he used to say that he doesnt trust people and sometimes me too which made me feel bad . he sometimes treated me rudely . then i told him how i felt about the way he behaved with me nad how i felt. after that things got well for like 2 weeks but after that things started to get back and then a time came when things started to get bad . he started treating me rudely and intentionally ignoring me . and i ahted that but i tried 1 more time after that and when he still didnt traet me nicely …i left him . i stopped talking to him . b ut a few weekss back he called me and apologised to me saying u dont deserve the way i treated you and i did forgive him but i also told him that it was never ok , it still isnt and it never will be . i think things are working well right now . he is trying his best to treat me right. but now im more cautious and careful of our friendship and about everything we do .
Ah… Wow. You have definitely been through a lot–an emotional rollercoaster, if you will. It probably hurts more when you know they aren’t good for you, but your heart can’t help but love them. Our situations seem different in ways that they don’t ever intend to be rude and they do not ignore me. Thank you for your response! Glad there’s someone who can somewhat relate.
Ira Gray @iragray12
it sometimes does hurt more but what i have come to realise and know is that being stuck over something or someone who hurts me or makes me overthink or make me feel bad …it is stopping me from living my life and enjoying it and i dont wanna feel bad anymore or regret things .
well i am glad that i could share my story with you .
You are so right. Being caught up in these things makes me more unappreciative of all the good people and experiences laid right in front of me. Thank you for your response.
