Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

I am frustrated and not sure what to do. I was with my ex for 10 years when I found out that he supposedly got someone else pregnant. At that time our son was only 2 1/2 years old. I tried talking to my ex about it and all he would say was he made a mistake and wanted to work things out. While we were trying to work things out he started telling me I was a escrot who was working off Craigslist, I had some pimp who was pimping me out to his friends whom he owed money to, and that I was doing porn videos (All of which were not true). The next thing I knew he had went and got married behind my back while we were supposedly working things out. I found out 2 weeks later that he got married and again he told me he made a mistake and they were getting a divorce. It was not until 3 years later that he got a divorce and his wife told me that the only reason they got the divorce was so they could have a big wedding with all their family and friends there and do it the right way. I was in so much denial for 5 years going back and forth with him making excuses for him and blaming myself for everything he did as he kept telling me all these off the wall things I was supposedly doing. Most of these things I feel it would be impossible for anyone to do and I would tell him that but it was always something else after that. I started asking him where the proof was that he kept saying he had of all these things but he never could come up with anything. He then told me that I photoshopped all the pictures and videos so that no one would know it was me but I forgot to edit my hands and that is how he found out. He went behind my back and filed court papers trying to have them take our son from me and give full custody to him. He never served me the papers and told the court that he did not know where i was at when i was with him everyday. He called CPS numerous times until finally i agreed to have them put me on a voluntary case bases for 2 ywars which was closed with no problems and i received an certificate for completing it succesfully and was granted full legal and physical custody of our son and no visitation rights for his father (my ex). It is all so absurded to me but I loved him very much and never did I at any point in the first 10 years we were together ever imagined he would do anything like this to me or our son. He ended up spending some time in prison because of all this that he kept harassing me and telling me all these things I was supposedly doing. He ended up contacting me when he got out and apolozed and once again was telling me he wanted to work things out and make up for all the time he had missed out on with our son. I had hoped that prison done him some good and he had realized what he had done and I truly wanted to believe he was telling me the truth. Two weeks after we started talking and spending time together his ex wife messaged me and told me they were still together and in fact out of town together at that time. Just so happened that my ex told me he had to go and work out of town that weekend. I called him and ask him about it and he told me that she was just jealous because she knew how much he loved me and wanted to be with me so she was trying to mess things up for him and us. At that point I quit trying to work things out between us but would still see him from time to time hoping that he would build a relationship with our son who wanted nothing to do with him and hardly even knew him. All he kept doing anytime I would take my son for a visit was tell me what I was supposedly doing and how I now had married my pimp who was pimping me out to all his friends whom he owed money to. I ended all visits because he knew this was upsetting and hurting our son who is now 10 years old and more aware of what is going on and getting said yet it did not stop him from saying these things. He even started telling our son that these people were hurting him and that I was leaving him in hotel rooms all alone while I was out making porn videos. Even our son told him none of what he was saying was true. Since I ended all the visits he keeps texting and leaving me messages that keep saying all the same things except for now these so called people are following him and threatening him he said because we are still talking and they don’t want me to quit doing porn and stop escorting since I was making them good money. I cannot believe that after 17 years together this is the way that he has chosen to think of me and wants to go around telling people that I am that kind of person ( not that there is anything wrong with a person that is like that it is just not me or the person I want to be). He can think of me however he wants to think I don’t care about that I just do not understand why he feels he has to keep telling me all these things. I tell him we are always talking about what I am not doing but he believes that I am doing yet we are not allowed to talk about what it was that he actually did do in the first place to make things the way that they are. He does not understand why I will not let him see our son now without going back to court and getting a court order for him to be able to see him. Its all so frustrating to me and everytime he tells me these things that he thinks I am doing it reminds me of the things he did and how he hurt me. Any suggestions on how to make things better and myself to start the healing process?