I am feeling very sad. full-time college student with no money in my bank account yet there are people making tons of cash my age. I know its not good to compare myself but goddamn I need money. I have been falling behind with school work and I don’t know where to start to catch up. I have been telling myself I want to start going to the gym but that’s been going on for over a month. I feel overweight and ugly it sucks bro. our heads can play with our hearts in an incredibly scary way. I developed an eating disorder, I can go weeks without eating and then stuff my face one night at 3 in the morning. its sad how we tell ourselves we need to look a certain way. in other people’s eyes even strangers, we are the most beautiful humans but in our own eyes we are the complete opposite. my boyfriend is probably cheating on me because he says I am bitchy and insecure… why would I be nice to him if all its resulted in is me getting hurt because he wants other girls? how will I know its different this time? I just feel so insecure it makes me cry but like I am not even that ugly sometimes but then I look at a picture that was taken off guard and I look like a fat pig. I don’t know bro I know this rant is all over the place but I needed to get it out of my system.
I respect you a lot for being able to get into college and study - not a lot of people can handle that sort of pressure, so you deserve the world for being able to go to college and study there. Good things come to those who wait - and people move forward in different speeds. I can almost guarantee you that once you get out of college and get a job, you’ll make just as much money <3 don’t stress too much about it. <3
for schoolwork, perhaps try reaching out to a relative or friend whom has good knowledge in your area - or, use khan academy :D it has clear and concise explanations online along with practices and lessons that i find very useful. they cover basically everything too!
and as for your boyfriend, he sounds like scum - relationships are about accepting each other and making each other happy. i think what you need to do is learn to love yourself first, before trying to love someone who probably doesn’t deserve it. self care is important, and you should be prioritizing yourself, alright? take a walk. go outside occasionally with friends to a local park or help out somewhere.
99% of the time people who criticise themselves about their weight are gorgeous. we just live in a judgemental society. if you really do want to go to the gym but don’t have time, what i recommend you do is maybe do some HIIT workouts that you find online? they take less time and can still burn the same amount of calories. i used to have this problem as well, but once i started doing them, i began to have more energy, develop some more muscles, and wake up earlier.
you are beautiful the way you are. you are amazing, and always prioritize yourself first <3
