Thought

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Anonymous

I am a early 30’s year old divorced mom of 4 . My divorce has been over for 3 years and I finally started feeling like trying dating again . I met this amazing guy and we’ve been dating for 6 months now . Well he called me one day last week after I invited him to meet me for dinner (he hasn’t met my kids yet ) and told me he has a confession to make . He has cold sores and is having them on his lips . I said okay well we can postpone just feel better , but then I got to thinking… does he have herpes ? I was tested just before I started dating again and I did not have it. The following weekend we had planned on doing a hiking trip. I met with him and we had an amazing weekend so I decided to talk to him in the car on the way home . I asked him if he had ever been tested for herpes . He said he knows he has it because he got it when he was 20 years old . So this man has had herpes 1 for 20 years and never told me during our relationship. I told him I accept him and I do , but I think after as much as we’ve been kissing odds are I probably have it now too. He said he didn’t want me to get it so he hasn’t been kissing me during his outbreaks but what are the statistics of a man transferring HSV-1 to a woman when he’s not having an outbreak? I am having mixed emotions . I wish he would’ve just talked to me about it to begin with. I feel like he kind of hid it from me . That makes me feel bad that he couldn’t tell me the truth to begin with . Also, he and I are sexual and he does go down on me quite often . Does that mean I can get HSV-1 genitally as well? My worry is I still have wounds from past relationships and I worry he will leave me and I will be left to navigate dating with HSV which is not easy. I joined a herpes support group on Facebook. I am also getting tested again this week . But even if I don’t have it now I know the longer we stay together the more inevitable it will become . I don’t know how to feel about it honestly.

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Profile picture for Now&Me member @skybroker
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Profile picture for Now&Me member @gamesbond007
Profile picture for Now&Me member @akash651
Profile picture for Now&Me member @shivay2595
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16 replies
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Anonymous

Defected goods

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Anonymous

What does that mean ?

Profile picture for Now&Me member @skybroker

Akash Dalal @skybroker

This was bad I hope everything turnout to be better in coming days. 🫰

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Anonymous

Thank you

Profile picture for Now&Me member @skybroker

Akash Dalal @skybroker

No worries. If there is anything eles do tell us we are here to hear you out.

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Anonymous

Herpes meaning?

crissandra @flossboss88

herpes is a herpes simplex Virus . Very contagious. It creates sores on the lips and they ooze and bleed sometimes for a few days sometimes for a few weeks . It is a viral infection. I love in the US and there is a big stigma about it here .

crissandra @flossboss88

Live*

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Anonymous

Oh thanks 👍

Profile picture for Now&Me member @gamesbond007

gamesbond003 @gamesbond007

Hope you don’t test positive for that. And please be cautious as you have a child to feed in life. If something happens to you, it will make things harder to handle for your kid. So, please have a clarity between pleasures you want vs the pain that you might have to suffer later (wish it nvr happens).🙂

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Anonymous

This is true . But HSV is not life threatening. It doesn’t shorten the lifespan . If I did test positive for it I wouldn’t be able to share drinks or kiss my kids anymore . Just on the cheek . But I could still work and provide for them

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Anonymous

Told ya already depends on the risk you want to take.🙂 I hope you don’t get it in the first place.

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Akash M @akash651

First get yourself tested. If it turns out to be nothing, you would be wasting your time overthinking over nothing. In case you get positive then confront him.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @shivay2595

Shivay @shivay2595

See first of all get yourself tested and if yoy are positive then take care of your kid. They should not be getting herpes since so early age.
And secondly if you are in love with that person. Ask him why didn’t he told you about it in the first place. It’s a very contagious disease and spreads very easily. I don’t think that it was the right thing to do, every relationship is based on trust and this is a serious violation of your trust.
And also you mentioned that he goes down on yoy frequently so you’ll have to be more careful.
And you said that herpes is short lived but your boyfriend has herpes since he was 20 years old.

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Anonymous

No, the actual virus is incurable , but it does not shorten your lifespan.

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Anonymous

Leave him. I don’t know why are you worried about all that.
He’s got herpes. Plain and simple. How awesome he has to be for you to overlook this …

I mean, if I was your friend, and I go like…hey, date him. He’s got herpes. Would you be exhilarated, thank me endlessly and make me your maid of honour.
Nahi na.
Choose your partner as good as you would expect your friends and family to choose for you.

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