Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

I am a 23 year old girl, I was in a relationship from last 8 years at first it was nice but then the last 2 years were hell, he became very ignorant, he just used to disappear for weeks and then used to act like he is doing nothing wrong. I had history of anxiety and panic attacks it started again before 2 years because of my relationship but he never acknowledged my mental health he always used to say that I am over reacting or faking being anxious. I used to cry myself to sleep everyday, I was so helpless I couldn’t breathe. So I decided to end the relationship and it took me to years to realise that. In August 2020 I told him I want to breakup with him and things between us are not working out. But after that I don’t know what happend to him he was so ignorant before but then after listening about breakup he just didn’t agree for it, but I knew I was done with him. I had given him innumerable chances in past and nothing changed so I didn’t have energy to give him another chance or to deal with him, so I was very clear that I want to breakup. After that he started blackmailing me, he was like I will ruin your life. After that he attempted suicide just to scare me and he thought I’ll say yes. I got so traumatized after that. Now he is just forcing me to marry him. It’s been 8 months since breakup but he is just not ready to understand. I blocked him everywhere but today he managed to call me from unknown number and I again got so anxious and had panic attack that I don’t even remember the conversation I couldn’t remember a word, I just remember crying and was struggling to breathe. I just want to end all this. I JUST WANT TO ESCAPE.