I am a 20-year-old girl from India and currently pursuing a computer science degree. I was in a relationship with this guy for a very long time and the habit that I told him everything on my mind every day allowed me to focus on important things and I never lost my direction but since we had a huge fight 4 months back I have not recovered from it and I don’t feel good with him anymore. I still love him as a person but I don’t find us being compatible and a practical couple. We have differences that I am not able to handle. He has not fully accepted the breakup which is a huge stress on me because he does not like to talk about it.
Since I am not able to be comfortable with him I have been feeling deep loneliness and void.
I am also having anxiety attacks almost every day for 3 months.
I have been trying to find some help online but not able to get any mature people to help me out. I have a lot to work on and a lot to study but I am losing focus.
The only solution that I have thought of is to get discipline in my life and see how it goes. All I need is the courage to overcome these tough times, hopefully.
You need focus because if you stay with him in the future OR not, you will still need to have a career. If you do not feel it works as a couple, talk to him about it because it would be worse to keep on taking things further if you do not feel you want to be in that relationship anymore.
Hey there,
First of all, kudos to you for being able to understand and maturely accept that you’re not compatible. Lot of people just continue being miserable with someone just because of the history which isn’t the healthiest option.
Secondly here is something you can start with. You will have to slow down your contact with him. Don’t bother about how he deals with it because if you try to help him process that, you’re never essentially breaking up. It will be a loop trust me. I wasted 2 years trying to convince this guy that we are not compatible. I liked as a person but was really bothered by his romantic angle towards me.
I tried my best by pushing him away, hours of talking how I’m not interested to date him, and it’s so draining because you’ll think that he might have got the point but the fact was he wasn’t willing to accept. He got obsessed with me. And that added so much of unnecessary stress in my life. I had to spend my weekends with him so that he doesn’t go crazy crying for me. What I didn’t realise is that 2 years had passed, I wasn’t in a new relationship, I wanted to move to a different city but I somehow didn’t try (he constantly used to demotivate me so I don’t move away from him). Basically I spent way too much time worrying about him that I ended up being depressed for not doing what I really wanted to do.
Finally I saw how I got manipulated and cut my ties with him. I have done this in the past but the moment I think he might be over me and unblock him, he tries to convince me to date him. It became so emotionally draining.
The only thing that worked is no contact rule. I haven’t spoken to the guy in months. And I have suddenly realized I have lot of time for myself. I’m doing exceptionally well at work (Touchwood).
I’m also using a lot of self help videos from youtube that helps me understand myself better and it has helped me focus on my passion.
You do have the power to overcome this. You have got it girl! Please watch this video by Mathew Hussey. It really helped me a lot during my difficult times. Check out more on his channel it will surely help.
https://youtu.be/s_4dQtak3mk
Good Luck, we got you. If you feel you need a recharge come back here. I got you covered.
Stay strong. 🤗😊
If your feeling anxiety attack , please consult the doctor . I am saying so because i am taking anxiety medicine (pexicr-25mg and Etizolam 0.5 Mg ) Please don’t use these medicine without consulting doctor . I am using this medicine from last 13 years . I know how hard it become to do any thing if your suffering from panic attack ,anxiety . Now coming to reason, you can directly say that Guy that your not feeling comfortable with him and this is leading you to Anxiety. You can even talk to some of close member of your family with whom you can share your feelings … Keep busy your self with study , yours family members and listen the music of your choice . Start doing little light exercise like walking , some yogas hope it will help you.
