I am a 20 year old girl and I have been a happy and kind of busy person all my life, with phases of being angry and irritated. Since lockdown I have had a lot of free time. Earlier I used to enjoy having so much free time and it felt nice watching shows and movies and just laying around all day without any tension of the studies. But now I don’t enjoy it anymore. I don’t enjoy the things I used to. I don’t enjoy meeting my friends as much, shopping, and I don’t connect with my family the way I used to. I feel low and sad and sometimes I start crying out of nowhere and I don’t even know the reason behind it. The other day I cried so much the whole day that my eyes were swollen for the next two days and I don’t know why I cried. I sometimes feel like a good for nothing, useless, rude and selfish person. I have a tendency to bottle up my emotions and feelings and not let them out at the time. I also used to feel like something bad should happen to me. Will making myself busy help me get rid of these thoughts? Or is this something much more deep?

um i really hate the way the look i try everything i can  to be or look pretty nothing works, everyone hates me including my family, im failing school bc i dont have enough energy to do nothing, i wanna talk to someone who would know what im going through but they all leave, even he left when i opened up, im trying so hard rn to be happy n pretend every things ok, but my dad is so fuckin hard on me n abusive, and my anxiety is messed up rn its so hard to fuckin go out or do anything bc then i have a panic attack im jus done im trying everything i can  i dont know what to do anymore i jus want it to end. I wanna be gone already.

Child Abuse

I can't do it anymore it's too overwhelming. Thank you to all of you who tried to help me🙂

Suicidal Ideation

Don't chase energy .....

Attract energy....

Mental Wellbeing

Why I'm getting this feeling that everything's ending ...

Confusion

I have been going through depression and anxiety for 12 years and have been diagnosed with OCD Panic disorder and Major depressive disorder majorly suffer from religious OCD and also nowadays cannot work or do anything productive except by forcing myself that to not more than 2 hrs and I lost my job and have anxiety and nocturnal panic attack frequently. Confused on what to do?

Panic Disorder

I hate showing my feelings and being vulnerable in front of other people. I know that just like all of them I'm also human and I'm supposed to have emotions but I hate that. People around me always wonder why I'm like this; so cold and uninterested. They don't think it's a good thing either and constantly say i have no emotions or empathy, they ask me if there's even anything in this life that excites me. I'm afraid of showing interest for things, I'm afraid of showing love, I'm afraid of showing excitement cuz if things don't work out then everyone will know i've been hurt and i'd rather them not know that im capable of being in pain, i'd rather they think i can't be hurt by anything because there's nothing i care for. But i care a lot, I do have dreams and things that make my eyes light up, i love a lot more than anyone could ever imagine, and i get hurt extremely easily, I'm actually very sensitive. I know i always look lifeless and as if there was nothing behind my eyes, as if my mind was constantly blank but I've actually got a lot going on in my head all of the time, i just tend to hide my smile as much as i hide my tears, making me seem emotionless but that's everything i am not. I just can't understand why im like this, i know i have no reason to be this way but why?

Other

How are y'all doing? Well for me things are happening so fast.... I gotta come out of my comfort zone... People tend to believe i have my all things sorted out,people also say m the popular one in my class,m always happy and cheerful but in real they don't know i at one time was bullied, my dad used to hit me for anything it is better than before i cpuld say but still things aint good in my house.,i have insecurities, i stammer while talking in English ,financial difficulties ,it ll look like i am confident but in real ik i need someone to hug me and tell me its okay u got this.i just felt like sharing it with yall... No one having a perfect life but its upto us how we deal with it...  Make god ur friend and seee how it keeps getting better... Move out of your comfort zone and do it for you as no ones gonna do it for u....keep growing and glowing love yall besties

Affirmations

Are you feeling irritating?wanna disappear?
Wanna be alone?okay, it's fine to be that way.dont feel sad about being the last.dont feel bad about being dumb or fool.its okay!
Cry it out.everything.dont just hold back ,don't think about others just let it out now.its okay to feel empty.its okay to have breakdowns in life.finally Just one thing
ITS OKAY

Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts