New Acts of Love every week!! 🤍Click here to be a part 🤍
Home / Thoughts / I am 26, female. I need to talk about negativity ...
Anonymous

I am 26, female. I need to talk about negativity in family. Basically fighting parents.
I use to work in different city, but due to pandamic i had to come back to live my family in feb 2020. And i lost my job. Its been a year i am at home. I am home after 6 years for such long period of time.
Since last 1 year I have seen my parents fighting over silly things Like turning fan off/on, What to eat… Etc
These fights last for weeks. My father stops talking to everyone in family.( We are family of 4, Parents n 2 daughters all were home due to pandamic)
He stops eating to show that he is angry. My mother ask n request him to eat. She cries alot N he puts all blames on her. He never melts by all of us crying. This kind of this last for days… Each week he have new reason to fight.
I am so done with such environment. During such times. I get terribly scared. As soon as i notice him not talking. My mind automatically starts recalling all things said/ happen in last few hours, day. I feel like running away from home. but the only reason i stay is my mom.
I am so scared that i want to settle it. Whenever he should i shiver.There r times i have asked my mom that why they r together. This all is affected me mentally. I feel scared when i am with males… I am losing my confidence.
I just pray to get married and more away from here.

There r many things like these… He is very dominating… For instance i am talking on my phone on call with someone… He wants to know whome i was talking what was the conversation…
If any of us step out from home… He wants to know every detail…

I want some freedom… i have been staying independently from last 6 years… Maybe i am not use to these things…
Same happens with my mom… She don’t say a word… becoz she knows if she try to explain herself… If will shout more not eat… Not talk…

Now my sister lives in another city for work n now i stay with parents. I am so scared that they should not fight again … Becoz i am terrific to face it all by myself… Plz help what should i do

6 Comments
Post anonymously?

There’s nothing much we can do . If we try to initiate a dialogue either one of them gonna shout
Baith jao abhi tum chote ho.
But seeing this in the family breaks us down . I have dealing similar situation at my home half the time my fathers comes late home and doesn’t Ans where he was . Even I tried to commit suicide than also he has not been changed . Though he pretend to be very emotional . My mothers don’t say much being a Indian mom .
I have been trying to leave everything and move on . But looking at everything I stop myself . I have a elder sis who’s still to get married just waiting for her to get married and than move on .
I would say you and your sister should move to the same city and take your mom with you . Maybe when he is alone and recall what he is been doing with you and your mom might change him .

Anonymous

Moving out is not a way…
I feel he needs to learn his behaviour is wrong.
Me and my sister are so worried that what will happen when we both get married. My mom will have nobody… N he will keep tourting her

Maybe moving out will give him a lesson . Sometimes people take thing for granted if they are around and they learn their importance when they are far . It’s just a suggestion you know your parents well . Think about it

Anonymous

Can understand, even my dad is toxic as hell! Wished he was never born at the first place.
1. Try avoiding as much as you can.
2. Support your mom as she needs your support the most.
3. Make him realize that whatever he is doing is not good for the family. Put a few things at stake.
4. It happens, if males are sitting at home then naturally our mind starts getting irritated. Males are never supposed to stay idle for a long time, it damages. Try involving him in some activities?
5. Ask your mom to be equivalently strict. If he doesn’t eats then don’t insist him on eating, it just helps to increase the confidence of being toxic.

Dont know how helpful I am, but same situation at my home too. Facing since I was 12-13, its been more than 12years, me and mom are now completely broken, but have to face it. I wish if was earning very well then I would have taken my mom to another place.

Anonymous

I feel sorry that u also have similar situation. How do u deal with mental health during duch times?

I feel this has affected me too much n i should get councillor?

s

Yes please! Visit a counsellor.
Such situations just demotivate me. Now I doubt myself, never experienced a warmth of family, I have no practical idea about how a dad should be. I doubt if I would be able to carry a family in future, or will I even be able to be with someone. These thoughts are just disturbing.
You will have to fight against this situation, if not it will lead to serious problems someday.