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a
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I adopted a child with my gf 5 years back and she broke up with me after 1 month of adoption saying its not gonna work and i don’t date now because i cant imagine somebody else in my life except my daughter because i feel like she is my own ,like i gave birth to her and i dont wanna share the happiness when she calls me mumma , but still there’s one part which is missing like i went to mental hospital few days ago because i got depression and anxiety and i feel like she is not safe with me like what if i hurt my own daughter’s feeling. as i am feeling better now but still there’s this fear that what if she grew up hating me and that insecurity is making me give up on her ,trust me it hurts so much when i think about letting her go i mean ,i love her so damn much and even a paper cut on her finger gets me panicking and i dont know what to do i dont know … please suggest something

12 Comments
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Anonymous

I can’t even imagine what you’re going through now, but even if you adopted her it’s still your daughter and I think she relies on you. Even when they’re young children feel when their parents are going through a hard situation. So I advise you to think about it deeply because it’s not a simple decision if you feel like you don’t have the capacity of taking care of her to provide her with all the love and all the utilities that she needs I think then you know what you must do. BUT if you’re absolutely sure that you can do it so don’t give up on your child.

a

thankyou that helped a lot

w

You had parents ? Didnt they screw up? Make mistakes? You are still a person apart from a parent. You are allowed to have your own problems. As long as it isn’t difficult for you to raise your child this shouldn’t be a problem. But you need to put in the work. You need see a therapist. Explain to your child as well that you’re going through something difficult. Maybe she won’t understand now but with time she will.

a

thankyou and i shouldn’t run from confrontations, thanks for the words

w

What I’m saying is don’t feel guilty for not being okay.
And the amount you love your child I am 100% sure you would never hurt them

a

thankyou for believing in me , i mean i am hopeless and not trust worthy nowadays

w

You’re not hopeless and I would a 100% trust you with the child.

a

trust me i am , i mean look at me i couldn’t even handle a girlfriend anyways thankyou for your kind words

w

I couldn’t handle a boyfriend that doesn’t make me hopeless.
You’re never hopeless. No one is ever hopeless.
You just need help. Sometimes maybe we can’t do things on our own and we need help from others doesn’t make us hopeless

Anonymous

i hope you know that your insecurities are only insecurities. they only get power when you believe the lies. youre daughter doesnt hate you. i mean, it really takes a lot for a daughter to hate her mother. when shes old enough, you can tell her about your condition. i hope you know it’s okay. after all, all a person can do is try their best. and trust me, theres no place else better for your daughter than with you. i hope youre doing better now. if not, know that tough times pass

a

Thankyou, i never really talked to someone who will tell me this

Anonymous

glad i helped