Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

when we argue, she always talk like that. Sometime I ask myself, “does she loves me?”. She loves my other siblings. But I can feel that she hates me at the same time.

That is so sad. Do you perhaps know a reason why she has these feelings towards you and not your other siblings?

maybe it is because i am a cheerful person or happy go lucky person. Maybe she sees me like I don’t have problems. And maybe she thinks I’m okay if she being harsh towards me? I used to hear one sentences where it sound like this “Usually cheerful person who are hurt the most”. :)

no, it’s okay. thankyouu. It is more comfortable to talk here😊

maybe bcs she hates me? Yeahh, since I 16 yrs old i experiencing this. It hurts. I want to go back to the campus. Since it’s lockdown, so i have to stay at home and learn thru online learning

That’s really sad. Doesn’t it seem like a torture? Firstly you’re locked at home, secondly burdened with online classes, and then hearing such harsh words?

Yess. Sometimes I feel really bad to share something bad about her. But i can’t hold it anymore. I rarely sharing about this to people. It’s a lie if I tell you that I’m not stressing out with online classes. I wish I can disappear from this world. :)

You don’t have to disappear, your stress has to disappear, and that can happen only when you decide not to take too much load. I know online studies are not easy, but just don’t let it rule ober your life. There’s much more to do. Talking about your mother, it’s okay to speak about stuff you don’t like about her. Nobody is perfect, and she isn’t too. Maybe she didn’t intend to, but hurt you. Of maybe she did that intentionally. Well the intention doesn’t matter, what only matters is that you’re hurt.

Thank you for your sweet words. Thank you for your concern dear :) I feel so blessed at my lowest point in my life actually. Yes, you are absolutely true. I have to find the solution to confront with this matter. Take care and thank you <3

My pleasure!:)