How to cope with your emotions when being forced into an arranged marriage?
I was dating a guy for 2 years and we were planning to get married but my parents disapproved of this relationship and forced me to break up with him. Within 24 hours they expected me to get over him and meet someone of their choice. Every hour they are training me on how to present myself, what to talk about, how to lower my expectations and so on and so forth.
I am still trying my best to fight against all this and convince them to at least meet my boyfriend once but they don’t want to establish any contact with him. Instead, they are trying to coerce me into this arranged marriage setup saying that this is a safer option in the long run. They are saying that I am very precious to them and they love me and hence want the best for me (which according to them an arranged marriage would fetch me).
As of now, I am being forced to meet this fellow, who is absolutely not at fault since he is completely unaware of my situation. I do not think that I will be able to do justice to this meeting because I am still not over my boyfriend. I am unable to picturise this new guy taking the place of my boyfriend with whom I had envisioned my entire life.
My boyfriend and I are trying our best to get out of this but until then does anyone have any suggestions on how to deal with this on an emotional front. I have never felt lonelier and more vulnerable in life. Being dismissed and disrespected by your loved ones is the worst thing ever and I hope no one has to go through this situation ever. Earlier, I was quite fearless but lately, I am very scared of this world. I don’t know who will come when and manipulate and exploit me. I don’t know how to deal with this.
I don’t know but I can feel you are very scared rn😔 I can’t do anything for your upcoming decision but what I do to help you is by saying something encouraging for you to keep on! You’re 💪! That is you! Team up with your boyfriend to show your future plan to your parents. Hope it helps💞
Thanks a lot for your encouraging words. We will fight till we win. We have very well thought out future plans and I know if my parents just even listen once they will get convinced. But the problem is that they are completely against the concept of love marriage and hence the trouble. They have stopped eating now and are popping pills. It is very evident that their health is deteriorating because of this stress. They are literally blackmailing me.
Tell the truth to the “guy” whom your parents want to marry!
Let’s see how he responds to this.
If you don’t wanna marry him, then please tell the same to him so that he might find some ways to call off this marriage.
That’s what you can do now!
My parents knew very well that I would pull off a stunt like this and hence they have asked me very clearly not to do any such thing. This person they want me to meet is from our close circle (not related) and hence my parents have strictly warned me not to do any such thing that would bring down the reputation of the family. They are saying that the onus of the family’s reputation lies on my shoulders and I hence should act responsibly. While my parents are clearly mistreating me, I still care about what people talk about us because, in the end, we all have to live in the same society. I am in a fix. I have the right to reject this guy but given my parents’ recent actions, I don’t know if it is just a pseudo right.
Yes I can understand the pressure that’s been put on you.
But just for once, think it for yourself.
You can be Selfish atleast for once.
Because YOU are the one who’s going to live happily or suffer for the rest of the life!
You’re not only hurting yourself, your bf. But also that guy (who is unaware of the whole situation).
Imagine after few years, he gets to know the truth.
Do you think he will be happy?
Don’t you think your family’s reputation will be spoilt more than earlier by hiding this?
One day truth will be revealed! That’s for sure!
Why don’t that day come earlier?
Try to explain this situation to that guy. You have no other choice than to speak out! For once! For yourself!
This is your life! You have the freedom and right to do things for yourself!
I will certainly give this some thought. I don’t want to ruin three people’s lives in the name of family reputation. It is a sticky situation but I will have to push my way out of it.
Thanks a lot for your comments. God bless you.