How can parents not love their child just for not being academically excellent ? Having to beg to be loved is so hard especially when it’s your own parents. Is it too much to ask for ?I literally can’t get closer to anyone or love anyone who isn’t family . I don’t have friends, I don’t have siblings, I don’t have a lover and I just love my family unconditionally. I have even told my dad how I feel because I literally don’t even have anyone else to tell all this . Since they know how I feel and how they’ve made me feel. I am literally proud of myself and I will never be ashamed of myself. All I want is unconditional love if it’s not unconditional then it’s just that your drawn to something you admire.I’ve been marked for my academic achievements haha I am treated like trash because I don’t score how he wants me to and I don’t get anything without my academic scores being assessed.I’ve literally been raised alone and have no siblings or friends it makes it so hqrd for me to bond with people… my parents didn’t ever encourage me to have friends(I’m an extrovert and I have friends but none with whom I share a bond and can’t love them to the fullest because I’ve never had a bestfriend for more than 6 months) and say they were just enough for me. But had many friends and people to share their happiness and sorrows with while I’m all alone. I am just so scared that nobody will ever love me unless they see what they want in me. And yes it’s been an absolute dictatorship here. I’ve been deprived of choices yeah I don’t mind living for others yeah If it makes me happy I’d do it but it never did. I’ve never had a choice be it a color or what I study . Everything I have is what he likes and my likes and dislikes never mattered my choice is indecent even before he knows what it is. Spending time together is a miracle. Being available always is impossible .I just get jealous when I see other fathers expressing love for their sons and daughters. I wonder if I am the worst son. After all I may not be an achiever according to him but I own every failure of I’m because I’ve learnt from it and succeeded . Just pointing out my flaws and talking about me being financially dependent on him (neither was he at my age) oh yeah every fight starts from thetopic of money haha literally the least spent on me. I’d rather prefer to grow in a an orphanage with the just thatsame spent on me atleast be loved by someone.who boasts about providing basic necessities for their own family?All this is extremely toxic especially when he says I cannot ever be equal to him or achieve anything in life like him(narcissistic) tbh idc I feel I’m far better than him right now and don’t want to be him . I have an amazing mother who loves me a lot but just fails to understand me well.I’m tired of feeling that I am just not good enough . Ik communication and understanding can solve these problems but I just hope it’s two side because only then things will get sorted or maybe I should move to a hostel so that the time and the space helps them realize. I have no happy memories maybe I do but are blocked by the negatives .I know that the three of us love each other a lot but don’t understand each other well. I hope that changes. l have never been hurt by the insults because I own every flaw of mine because that’s what made me stronger and I’m proud because I am honest with myself. Sometimes I think that the fear of someone else hurting your loved one makes you hurt them the most which is absolutely toxic.
Simran @st1199
Hey!
And, I’m proud of you that you came here and shared and were honest.
You know your emotions very well, you know how it should be handled, a mature guy I should say.
Eventually and we all can hope in these times that OUR day comes soon and we live our life independently. 💜✨
