Hii! So i am an advocate, 23 years old. Just completed my graduation few months ago. I am preparing for masters. I am in love with someone. We have been together for almost 3 years now, a simple fairy tale it has been. We two are pretty serious and think of future together. Point is that i am an ambitious person, but i ain’t able to focus on my career thinking and worrying about how we are gonna convince our families. My partner although is a very positive chill individual, ready for whatever comes. Since last 3 years i’ve been severely burdened by the fact that no one in my family knows about my relationship, although we were planning to tell them in the coming years. I live in a typical joint family, and they have been receiving Rishtas or marriage proposals for me (for an Arranged marriage). I had no clue that they themselves have been looking for guys as yesterday my father approached me and out of no where started discussing about one of the proposals that my relatives have been approaching us about. I strictly said No. Being shock driven by all this, i decided to confront my mother about my relationship and how we are planning to marry, just had’nt thought everything to be this soon. My mother and sister in law handled the whole thing with immense positivity. But as i wasn’t prepared for all of this to happen so soon, i am facing panic attacks, i have completely lost my appetite due to stress, and no sleep. Why is it so difficult for an indian girl to discuss something so crucial with her family or parents? Why are we so trapped in the baggage of patriarchy so much that women’s opinion don’t matter so much? Anyone with words of wise please help me here. I need it.
If I could give you advice I would say you isolate your self from your family and do part time jobs before you start you master and frequently/ only talk to your family about you already have a man that you love for __ years
Cuz sometime psychological action and reaction work for parent but I don’t know if it’s work for your parent
Sounds like a good idea. That might distract me for a while. My parents are lovely and very supportive, just my family arrangement is a typical indian joint family, so that’s the issue. I will definitely try some part time and since my mother already knows about the guy, she might help me too. Thankyou for replying and helping out. Sending best wishes!!
I hope the best for you cuz I’ve seen many issues like this in Indian community eventho I’m not an Indian but if my opinions help I’d be overjoy cus makes people feel better is a gift for me 🥰
+ silent treatment from daughter gave huge impact to parents
Incase they ask you to stop talking about the man you love
Are you single child ? ask your siblings to help you if u have. Like in our case my elder sis is 25+ so whenever someone is talking abt these kinda things, me & my brother just shut them up. So everything is sorted in our house for such issues…
Sometimes if you really love someone you let them go if you truly love someone you let them go