Hi so I’m 27 and I’ve been thinking about marriage lately and I haven’t been in a single relationship till now and my family is asking me to get married and I don’t believe in arranged marriages due to bad experiences and I can’t get into arranged marriages just by meeting this guy for a few months and then get married to him and it’s completely strange to me so i thought Id get married to someone I know and I have one of my friends who likes me and we spoke to each other for a month he is in USA and then I put a stop to it cos I thought I was rushing into things I mean my parents got to know about it and they said okay cos they know him from very long and he’s well settled and I don’t know everyone rushed me at a time including the guy so I thought instead of saying yes when I’m not sure it’s better to say No. I don’t know if he’s the guy I usually don’t have clarity and he dint text me or call me since then it’s like he doesn’t even care l. I also felt like he’s not compatible but since that day I haven’t stopped thinking of him. Everyone were mad at me cos I ruined this but thing is I just want to know what I did was right or wrong and I don’t know if I should talk to him again or should I wait for him to talk cos I already texted him once and we spoke normally but seems like the guy doesn’t care anymore. I don’t know what I should do. I’m so done with this marriage and all. I have anxiety and may be due to this I am getting triggered and I’m ruining everything or I don’t know. Im just tired
Hiiee there…I m here to help you out …first thing …you don’t have to get married jus because your old enough …or to satisfy social standards …try to figure out urself if uh really need to get married …n if uh are sure about getting married and settling … firstly you have to know what kind of guy uh want n comfortable with …n try so called dating apps ( be aware of playboy’s ) …try to get registered to some online matrimonial sites…n try going on dates …so that uh can figure out wat uh want n expecting from ur partner …n send most thing …uh don’t have to worry about this guy in usa …if he’s serious about you …he wouldn’t had let you go …like that …n you said that he didn’t even contacted you …that means …he didn’t even want to know how to felt about him …so it’s better to forget someone like him who don’t deserve you …
Actually he did care about me when I said no he understood the situation he said don’t take it seriously and he even told my parents not to pressure or talk to me about this topic even at that time he dint say a word he just said it’s going to be fine thing is we’re friends and he never spoke to me again after that. May be he felt bad I don’t know but I kind of miss my friend.
He liked you and when you guys started to have conversations may be he developed some expectations…and when you said no…then he might have felt bad…may be that’s why he is not talking to you…first you both should clarify things…and tell him why you did that…and things doesn’t seem to be right between both of you…that’s why you said no.
And you were right saying no…bcoz it would have messed up lives of you both…I know after reaching a certain age…we are expected to get married, get settled…and it’s really really hard to break these type of customs…but you should break these barriers for you own peace
You can tell your parents that you need to focus on your career…you have plans for your future and marriage will be a burden on you at this tym
And when it comes to being in a relationship…I believe that everyone finds the r8 person…when the time is right
My suggestion though…try approaching people more…unless you won’t talk to someone…you won’t know if you will like the person or not…
I wish life to be like Bollywood…when the right person comes across you…there is wind making your hair wave…violins are being played in background…and everything starts happening in slow motion
Thank you so much this helped a lot and you’re right I should clarify things. I’m always scared and I overthink a lot and due to bad experiences i have seen around me it affected me in a bad way about marriages but I always liked him that tho I know
I am glad that it helped…💙
Don’t feel pressurised to get married, late twenties are like this only, people in your friend circle start to get married and you start feeling left out.
Besides, start meeting people and figuring out what you want out of your partner, arrange marriage or love marriage, whatever gets you the partner you need is okay but first is to figure it out yourself. And you are going back to the guy and I am just speculating, because that’s the easiest and safe way. But sometimes we need to take the road less traveled.
You’re absolutely right I should not feel pressurized first. It’s just that my life is so routine same old job nothing changes I don’t know what my future is and the only thing that can happen right now is marriage which is why I feel pressurized
Completely understandable, a lot of years have passed in job and now there is a stagnant phase where learning is less and growth is slow, but that’s how it is, there is initial growth in every phase of life then very small variation for longer duration.
Marriage should not be used just as a means to push the boredom away. If it doesn’t improve your life personally and professionally don’t do this.
You’re right thank you so much for helping :) this means a lot
