Hi reader. I need your immediate opinion on a person. My sister’s boyfriend. She had introduced him to me as her boyfriend six years ago. They’re both much older than me. I had a strong bond with both. My sister trusted my friendship with him. We weren’t attracted to each other (I will never be sure about him) but we have had many conversations on sex. He hooked up with other people and told me about it. I too shared my own experiences to him. He offered wisdom and physical support whenever I had problems. But he would also discuss on my appearances and recently he had texted me that he had a wet dream about me. I felt slightly uncomfortable but thought nothing of it further. Well, my current boyfriend saw the chats and told my sister about it. They broke up. I’m truly disgusted that I had such talks with him and I cannot find the befitting words to express my regret to my sister. Upon confrontation, he got angry at my sister for being suspicious of us. He hung up and left. Upon my confrontation, his response was that he didn’t think anything further of me beyond a sister despite the chats. It’s been days and my sister hasn’t received an apology yet. I accept that I’m an equal accomplice. What is your judgement of such a person? Could he be right that he wouldn’t act further than the texts or am I being extremely naive?
It sounds like he is unsure about what he is about as person which helps to understand him but explains why you would be cautious. He could be right but you could listen close to the part of you that is warning about naivete.
Thank you for your response. I recently remembered an incident where he asked me to download an app where we can chat more freely on anything. The app is secured and it cannot be hacked. Not so confident anymore that he wasn’t attracted to me. And btw he’s had sexual relationships with as young as 16 year old. He’s 28 currently. What do you think of him now?
More concerning, more cause for caution. Trust your intuitions and continue to seek feedback from those you trust.
