Hi
N here… After a long time. Some of you might have read my story some time back… Regarding my bf getting married to someone his parents chose for him. He got married on 25 April and yes it has been a tough time for me… That day is something I feel I will never be able to forget… But I’ve stopped calling him and i asked him that doesn’t he think he is being unfair for his wife if he still keep on talking to me… It was hard but that day i asked him to give me a photo of his wife… Idk why… But he obviously denied at first coz he knew it will hurt me but i still said that after he got married and that’s something I got to know then why is he caring about hurting me by a photo now… He sent it and i was actually in tears but i asked him to leave me alone and don’t call me… I cry sometimes… A lot and it is difficult to sleep peacefully since some time… But i saw his wife’s photo and she seemed very innocent ,she belonged to some village and is a very simple girl… she might have dreams about her marriage. And i am trying my best to stay away from my love now… Yes he did hurt me but i still love him… But i also hate him at the same time as I feel betrayed and used and then thrown away… I am ok one day and then broken for some days but i am trying hard to live without him. Without the dreams that he said that we will achieve in future… I somehow hate him as he prooved that he can walk away easily and that my intuitions were correct I just ignored it a lot of times. It seems all those 7 years were fake. As if every word, every promise was fake. Every I love you and I will be there for you always was fake. He even said that nothing will change and that we will still be the same even after he will marry someone else… Was this the respect and love he had for me that I can be kept as a side lover and cannot be taken home as a wife…?! He couldn’t give me time to at least be something in my life… So he just married someone else and gave it the name of “majboori”… Was I this easy to leave behind…!!
Hey it’s been very hard on you, I can understand… 7 years is not a joke. You should not talk to him now… I know it must be hard for you but he is not doing good if he is still talking to you. It’s clearly his mistake and now he has to live the consequences.
More power to you
Hi
I am trying to just go away… I haven’t blocked him anywhere yet as I don’t have the guts to do that right now… I’ve just stopped all the communication… But I don’t think so he is living wih the consequences… Tbh he must be having fun… Who will stay away and be sad over someone from the past when they have someone with them 24×7 … That too who is his wife and he can literally do anything, say anything, be anyway… I don’t really think that he is ever going to suffer… I feel that I am the one who is left behind alone and is still suffering and I know I am going to take time to celebrate out from it… Maybe a lot of time…
But Thank you so much for understanding. I’ve lost faith in friends too as nobody really stays when you need them… But it’s nice to see that strangers can sometimes be better than the one’s we know.
Hey,
I understand what you are going through
It’s not easy to let go what was so dear to you
But in this situation holding on will harm more than letting go.
That person is in bond of marriage with someone and you cannot sustain as third person for long , it’s good that you took a mature step.
Now coming up with the coping part
First thing to do is accept, accept that this will take time, you cannot undo 7 years at once.
Accept yourself, accept your pain
Accept your healing will take time
But at the same time also accept that you can always take that one small step, a step that will bring you closer to better yourself, more peaceful version of yourself.
The whole process will take time
But believe me
It’s worth pursuing
You’ll be happy one day
You just keep on taking one step a day
Rise and shine
Thank you for being understanding. I know I am trying my best to let it all go…
The first step is the only one that is gonna take a lot of time maybe for me… But I am trying everyday to remind myself that he wasn’t the one for me and that he is gone now. I am trying to accept the things as they are and I am going with the flow for the time being. It is just exhausting sometimes as I am sick of crying… I know it is gonna hurt but I just need an answer about how much time is it gonna take for me to be okay with everything finally…
I’ve forcefully started my dance fitness sessions online yesterday onwards and will continue now. Maybe this is the first step I took to get distracted.
Thank you soo much for giving me hope when I feel nothing can b right and when I’ve lost myself and the other person too.
I’m glad that you took that first step.
Believe me that dance class and fitness class is going to bring much needed change within you.
You won’t realize until you do so.
So fake it till you make it
One day you’ll realize you are over it
Imagine you being the best version of yourself, the fittest version of yourself, the smartest version of yourself.
I’ll pray you get through this.
Lots of love
Rise and shine
hey I know this must be hard and you must be hurting. I understand its hard to let go but its time to move on. cut him off completely, he doesnt deserve you. stay strong and power through.
I am trying my best to stay strong. I’ve already stopped talking to him at all… But haven’t blocked him anywhere…neither did I delete any of our photographs together…it is hard for me to do that as of now… I’ll just try to be a little more stronger first maybe then I’ll finally get the guts to fully delete him from my life…Thank you so much for your comforting words. 🙂
Hey,
I can understand how much hard it is to have faith and hope for 7 years and that is broken by the conventional marriage and family setup.
You have to understand he got married, chose you over some system or somebody else. It is his conscious decision to not fight back for both of your relationship.
You cant worry or feel hurt for his mistake or his helplessness.
Now, it is your turn and responsibility to take care of yourself. It is really going to be difficult in the initial stages to cope up with the break up (even though the break up was decided from your side).
However, it is truth that you are better without him and all these negative spiraling thoughts.
Even though it is going to take some time to heal and get out of this mess, you will really feel better and good after all this gets past.
But, during that healing phase, keep and build your self as a stronger version.
Exercise (any form), eat well, sleep and rest well and take care of yourself in proper way and engage in positive activities.
Learn new and exciting things, like gardening, arts and crafts, painting, helping or volunteering… These hobbies can help you distract from the actual pain and focus your energy in a positive and fruitful way.
Just take one step at a time, one thing for a day, slowly keep a journal to make note of your growth… Surely, when you look back, you will understand that you have developed and matured far more as a better human being!
I wish you all the best for your self recovery journey! Take your time! :)
Hi
I am trying to heal…
And I’ve yesterday forced myself to strt the dance fitness sessions I used to attend long time back… Actually that’s what I usually start attending everytime he left me clueless after fights for two three months… The only difference this time is that this time he is actually with someone else and I can’t expect him to come to me or maybe I can’t take him back this time…
In this covid situation I can’t go out of my house otherwise I might have joined some NGO too in order to help people. I just recovered from covid so even my parents want me to be at home.
At this time I don’t feel like doing art work or even study but I will try and start doing it too. Thank you for all your suggestions. It is the beginning and I know it is going to take a lot of time to be okay. But with your support I feel I will get out of this. Thank you again for giving me strength and hope.
Good to see your efforts to get back on feet!!
Dance and fitness will really help you to channel and vent your energy!!
Keep going!!
It is now time to be safe, survive the pandemic and get back stronger than ever!
You are a fighter, survivor and gonna create great things and create happier memories!
Till then, get hold of your strengths (whatever you love to do, dance or working out)… and make slow and steady moves!
Best part is you realized that you are going to TRY and study soon!!
TRY is the best thing, I ever tried. We need to keep trying, forcing (in right direction and good way for us, not hurting anyone) ourselves, and sometimes act until you become and start enjoying the whole NEW normal :)
Take care dear!!
