Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

share your deepest feelings and emotions in a safe and supportive environment.

โš•๏ธDepression

๐Ÿง‘Anxiety

๐Ÿ˜ฐStress

๐Ÿ’—Relationships

Create Thought

โ€บBreakupโ€บThought

๐Ÿ‘€
Anonymous

Hi, just wanna share my feelings here.

I just got dumped 2 days ago to the one who I thought would be my home someday. We have been together for 5 years 5 months but ended on May 2020. We lived in the same town for few years and 2019 was the year he moved out so weโ€™ve been ldr since then. I did tried to make things right again but it didnโ€™t turn out as I expected. Sept 2020 he got a new gf and it really makes me mad and sad too just how does he can replace me in such a way. I blocked him in every socmed. I really tried to get back up again eventhough I feel like hell. I cried almost every night thinking about how good the old days I had with him and seeing him will be doing all the things with her new partner. Until for few weeks I just keep pushing myself to be better. I just spend a lot of time with my friends and family until on 8 Dec 2020 he texted me said that he missed me even by that time he still with his girl. I did reply and told him he should be missing his gf and not me. We just had a short conversation after that day until that one day he went to my town with his family, I did not expect to met him that day in the mall, I did tried to walk away but he saw me and his sister too. I got nowhere to run so I just walk straight and hug his mother cause almost a year we havenโ€™t met. It just feel nice seeing his family still treating me good, we had our chat for a while before we say goodbye. I just could saw his eyes before I turn my back and start to walk. So I decided to unblock him in whatsapp and told him I didnโ€™t expect to saw him and his family again but Im glad cause still have the chance to met his parents, I really missed them a lot too. But that night he suddenly treating me good until gave me a picture of him. I was a bit shocked cause he can do such thing behind his gf. Since then, there might be times he would texted me and I just sometimes reply in short kind of not interested way and theres times I ignore them too until that 31 Dec 2020, I gave him a picture of a cat doll he ever gave me back in 2015 cause its been missing for few months too. He suddenly said the he loves me and would call me that night and I just seen his chat.

That night, 1 Jan 2021 everything just come back to normal. He called me and explained everything about how much he missed me, how stupid he is taking so long to realized that his heart been wanting me back, we talked for so long until almost 5 in the morning, after few months being stranger we suddenly got back just like that. He said he wanted me back and I said you just gotta choose between me and the girl cause I dont want to be in a relationship with someoneโ€™s lover. The next morning, he broke up with the girl and told me he want us to be together again. I was still not believe by that time he could just made the decision right away and he said that because his feelings was not true for her since the girl was the one who started everyhthing and ask him to become his bf. Well ofcourse there times his ex would texted him and so on but he just treated her as the way it should be that not more than a friend.

We stayed together until June 2021, we through some hard times as well as good times too. I believed in all everything he said, what we promised, what we had planned together, I even start saving my money for him cause we did made a promise to make it official in this upcoming 2 years but suddenly out of nowhere he changed. 27 June 2021, he told me that he has losing his feelings for me but he havenโ€™t giving up yet. I was so speechless when read it on whatsapp so I give him a call and I asked him if I did anything wrong, if theres anything that looks like its not enough, did I hurt him in ways that I didnt realized and so much more but all he could said it was nothing wrong with me, its really from his own heart, he feels empty, feels like wanted to be alone, to focus more on his own. I was devastated like how fucking can for almost 6 months he just can easily walk away without any feelings towards me. I just couldnโ€™t talk much and respect his decision cause I dont want to be in a place where to be forcing our other half to love us back. I just couldnโ€™t bear the feelings I felt in started to cry my heart out in front of my family. I just felt like how could I loved someone so much, trusted him and made him special but all I get was this in the end.

I was crying so much that night thinking back how foolish I am thinking he was true. He just came back just to broke me again. Tear my heart into pieces all over again. He was my first love but I never knew he would also be the one that could do this to me again. I dont know just how could he made me feel this way again. I had to heal myself from zero again, it was fucking hard, so damn hard to restart everything. I thought we could end this together but turns out he choose to left me againโ€ฆ

๐Ÿซ
๐Ÿช
๐Ÿ‘€
9 replies
๐Ÿซ
Anonymous
โ€ข

I admire the amount of patients you have shown, sometime it feels like that. Give him some time to relax his mind and body to rethink. Being in a relationship was a mutual decision after falling in love I guess, so this time it has to be the the same. Falling in and out of love is a part of life if he has fallen out of love with you then I feel you should respect his decision and walk away as it is the only mutual way (if he hasnโ€™t changed his mind).

I donโ€™t know you are the same person or not but I know someone who is going through the same but lately she chose not to tell me whatโ€™s happening.
Whatever it is I wish you get back your love๐Ÿ˜Šโฃ๏ธ

๐Ÿ‘€
Anonymous
โ€ข

Thankyouu so much for all the wise words๐Ÿฅบ yea I decided to go cause he doesnt wanna stay anymore. I block him in all socmed already cause I think its the best way to restart all over again, its better to be strangers again. I could not forgive him for the time being so I just let times heals everything.

๐Ÿซ
Anonymous
โ€ข

I read somewhere- โ€œwhen we donโ€™t know where life is taking us we are never lost.โ€
You will be fine.๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿฝ

๐Ÿ‘€
Anonymous
โ€ข

I hope so too. Thankyousomuch for comforting me.

๐Ÿ‘€
Anonymous
โ€ข

Yeaa, I wish for that too. Thankyou for your understanding, it does make me feel relieve a bit.

๐Ÿช
Anonymous
โ€ข

I read all this because at some level I could visualize and relate what you went through. I would tell you one thing for sure, what youโ€™re going through is the worst phase of love that no one tells beforehand and which has no remedy even. I guess its better never to get back with someone right away and give him/her the option to choose out of two. Maybe it works for few people but never for mostโ€ฆ

๐Ÿ‘€
Anonymous
โ€ข

Yea I also thought of it when I realized I shouldnโ€™t let him in from the first place, I shouldnโ€™t let myself felt sorry over him and believed in every word he said. Because of those little hope I have held in my heart I get so easily drown back to him and never thought of any other consequences might happen. I should have learnt that not everyone that comes back meant to be ours again, sometimes its better just let them remain in the past.

๐Ÿช
Anonymous
โ€ข

I agree young warrior. But even after all the logic and understanding our heart is not made for this. We feel like worthless to have been rejected and it makes us weak for a brief period. We crave to be what we were earlier and desperately wish to come out of all this. Its going to be tough, donโ€™t ball up things inside; that weight will keep getting heavier.

user_group_img

8644 users have benefited
from FREE CHAT last month

Start Free Chat
start_free_chat_cta_image