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Anonymous

hi, I’m a 25 year old girl . my education completed now and I’ve been searching for jobs for months now.
i come from a mentally and physically abusive family. there have been many traumatic events in my life . there’s nothing that i haven’t seen already .
i was always a shy and introverted kid, but still i wasnt depressed. i have been bullied by my teachers, friends, relatives and family because ive been fat all my life. all this resulted in me being scared, very less confident, introverted and unable to share my feelings. the worst is i hate myself . i have core self hatred issues. it resulted me in being soo self consious and negative i never used to part in any competions whether it be sports or any other . i always had the fear of being judged .my depression also started when i was in 10th standard and now its chronic. over the years ive tried to make my situation a little better. tried to change my thought process , tried to make some friends , a boyfriend but like every other person in my life , they also treated me very badly.
i even went through and abortion recently . it shook me they way i never thought it would
and now i dont have any strenght or hope
ive always kept my feelings to myself. made it a habit to do so as a child and now even though i want o share it i cant, i literally unable to share it.
my sister and mother have tried to help me and still do , but they also have many traumas in life and are in the pit just like me.
Now i,m 100kgs , jobless, dont even have a friend to hangout with, not because they used to listen or understand me before, but atleast i had a place to go to when i wanted to divert my mind. i feel completely alone.
im literally not able to take any effort to change anything
i cant even afford a therapist . i dont know what to do

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3 replies

Phoenix @mdaarizamaan

You know whatever you have said before “i hate myself” It all happened BECAUSE you yate yourself. The moment you start hating yourself 1. You will not support your judgment/thought
2. You will accept that whatever the other person is saying to me definitely right. You doubt yourself, you regret yourself you try to harm yourself you will you are not capable of doing anything all of these things only happens when one hates themselves, so PLEASE DONT HATE YOURSELF ACCEPTING THE FACT THAT YIU ARE KIKE THIS IS GEST DECISION. Accept the fact and EMBRACE YOURSELF THE WAY YOU ARE BECAUSE THAT YOUUUUU VALUE YOURSELF I MEAN VALUE YOUR OPINION, YOUR THOUGHT, YOUR JUDGMENT OVER PEOPLE’S. Accepting one self means, ITS OKAY TO BE OVERWEIGHT, OKAY TO BE JOBLESS, OKAY , TO BE INTROVERTED, EVERYTHING IS OKAY YOU SHOULD BE HAPPY WITH YOURSELF, I MEAN RESPECT YOURSELF BECAUSE THATS YOU. Value yourself. AND CALM DOWN KNOW MATTER WHAT BECAUSE YOU WILL ONLY THINK EFFECTIVELY WHEN YOUR ARE AT PEACE WITH YOURSELF. Love yourself the way you are because thats YOU.
I m just a teen myself. Idk what I’ve said is correct but at least i know what i said is not wrong either.

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Anonymous

Hi,
Please don’t loose hope and keep looking for the job, I have been in similar situation but trust me it gets better with time… take one step at a time… you don’t need a therapist… maybe write down your feelings, it has helped me a lot…if you are trying to loose weight may be focus your energy on that eat balanced meal … exercise at home or go outside… do what you think makes you feel better.

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