Why you think that??? I mean what you do that makes u think that u are toxic
I wrote a lil story if you scroll a bit down. If I think about another situation where I feel I am toxic is when I talk to people. It feels to me that I have lots of problems and people complain that if they go near me, I am full of problems. I do not want to be that kind of person, I just express myself more than they do. I want to help them too, but when I ask them about their problems and if they need help, they say I can not help them. But in my case, they can help me with my problems.
Stop being that 🤣
Yeah easy to say
Hard for others
Yeah it is in fact hard. I have to change myself upside down. I have to lose myself first and find myself again. I have to unlearn all the things and learn it again in a new way. It is hard.
That’s not how it works you have a toxic personality bna le hai or wo tera koi anger ka reason hai uspe work kro
I do not speak Indian. Can you write in English, please? Thanks
That’s not how it works you have a toxic personality for now and that is coming out of your angers against something work on that not on changing yourself
Therapy would be nice if you do wanna get better:)
No budget for that.
Sansthita @sansthita
Sit back and relax first. Close your eyes and try to introspect on your behavior and try to understand how you could have done it better. Develop your empathy and you will be good. Btw I am proud of you for at least attempting to acknowledge your issue and not glorifying it. That takes strength
But even though I introspect on my behavior, I end up repeating it again… Sometimes I do not realize that my actions are toxic.
Sansthita @sansthita
See it’s not possible for us to be mindful always. But you need to be conscious about two things: 1) don’t hurt anyone 2) admit your mistakes
You are right! Maybe I have to ask myself, ‘Would it hurt me if I was in their place?’ But I think the most of the time, my answer would be no. I do not want to seem pushy by asking, “Did I hurt you?” every time.
Right, I just have to be a bit more mindful. But will not it cause over analyzing everything?
Sansthita @sansthita
It actually won’t. In fact it will help you to get rid of your toxicity. Just observe people’s reactions when u say something to them. That way u will.know what hurts and what doesn’t
Most of the time I text to people, except my fam members. But that is good advice! I will make sure to observe their reactions. Some people do not show their emotions tho. I wonder why people do not say straightforwardly that they do not like something than ghosting or ignoring.
Sansthita @sansthita
They are afraid of being judged. So they ghost
I see. But that causes a huge problem for me. Because I will think and think and think why it happened.
Tell me ur actions that make u feel that these are toxic things i do
Not long ago, I forced my sick (caught a cold) classmate-friend to wake up and help me with an assignment at 7am. I had to do it because the internet was off in my city for 5 days straight, and that assignment held 40% of the total mark. I had only 2 hours left till the deadline and I panicked that I will fail the class. By the way, our lessons were online, and my friend was in different city, so they had an internet. Later, my friend said that that was really selfish and arrogant of me…
Uk Good thing that u realized this… But idk u had ur reasons i wont say these are toxic things but it is more likely mistakes… U could have said him about ur assignment one day prior or about week .just apologize him and have good communication skills with him coz he is ur friend and he still helped u with ur assignment. And next time think before u act so u wont have any regrets later.<3
I did not have a chance to tell them earlier because I called them the first thing the internet got back. But yes, you are right, they helped me. But now I am a bit afraid or hesitant to text them because they are kinda right about me. I should have considered that they were sick, but I prioritized my grade. I think I will not text them anymore asking help. If they need my help, I will help them, but I will not ask for their help. Oh, and they mentioned that they want to stay away from people who think the world spins around them.
Thank you for your tip, I will try to think deeply before I act.
Yes do talk to ur classmate about it. Coz uk when u ll explain him about ur act, the reason u did that and then apologize later thats when u did ur part. Other conversation completely depends on other person if ur classmate is genuinely smart he ll understand ur reason or will still be angry dont feel guilty still okay? And yes definitely now me independent .help people and dont depend on others. Have a great day bestie
Thank you <3
junk DNA @tum
you are already 30% ahead just by acknowledging you are being not nice to people.
i will say avoid people and needless intreaction with people you are less comfortable.
Get into some kindness oriented works weather helping people or knowing how bad things are in real world (work on empathy)
self-discipline yourself, read self-help books
indulge somewhere else unless you start feeling better about yourself
spend time with children or old aged person if possible…
Thank you! Are there any self-help books you can recommend me?
junk DNA @tum
Behave by Robert Sapolsky
Thank you!
