Hi. I needed some advice. I have a boyfriend of 6 years now. And i love him. Our relationship is going great. Recently, another guy from my workplace started giving me attention and flirting with me. I told him that Iām not really comfortable with this. And he stopped. This guy is really sweet. Today, he told me that he really likes me and just honestly blurted out his heart to me. I told him politely that i donāt think of him in that way and we should stay friends. Now Iām feeling really guilty that i didnāt tell him about my boyfriend. I just didnāt want to hurt his feelings. And wanted to subtly reject his advances. But deep down, now i feel i shouldāve just told him that i have a boyfriend. What do I do now? Should I bring this topic again with him and tell him this time? Or just let it go?
Shivay @shivay2595
If again tells you or make any advances then tell him politely and firmly that you have a boyfriend and you are not at all comfortable with this behavior of his
If i tell him now will he feel that i was giving dhokha to him by not telling him the first time? I donāt want to lose the friendship we have.
Thatās the thing, the friendship is there because he likes you, you canāt have it both ways, you gotta tell him the truth and let him move on, itās not just about you, this thing.
Okay. So Iāll wait and watch. If he says something again or makes any advances, Iāll tell him.
Shivay @shivay2595
See if also values you as much as you do. He will not break the friendship. And how will it be a dhoka. You are telling him the truth.
Agar nahi bataogi to dhoka hoga.
And if he asks then say that you were not comfortable enough to share this boyfriend thing with him.
Perfectš
Bhai yr tum sb kitni overthinking krte ho
To kya karu fir? Chhor du is baat ko?
Sanket @sanket
If you feel regret then you can mention about your boyfriend in some other way as well, this can be achieved via other topics as well.
Since you find him a sweet guy, the connection, the friendship matters and you can also convey this as well
Having boundaries is healthy and safe as well, and constructive
If i tell him now will he feel that i was giving dhokha to him by not telling him the first time? I donāt want to lose the friendship we have.
Sanket @sanket
You havenāt lied to him previously, have you? So technically dhoka to nahi diya, but the question is did he catch any signs or hints from you? If yes discuss around at it constructively
And as i said if you feel to share about your partner then it can be done in another way, for example you can mention that you and your partner are planning to visit so and so place or something like that, importance is to mention about your partner but in a slightly indirect way
And of course you shall try to cherish this bond as well within boundaries. He may get hurt but also support him and create a good bond
Thank you for taking out time to reply. I really appreciate it.
I was that workplace guy in the past. So i think I can give you the best advice and the best advice is that you should tell her instead you should meet them both. You were supposed to be loyal and dont make it worse otherwise itāll become love triangle šš. Heāll realise soon just stay on your side.
TiaāØ @tia_rt
Dude donāt be over emotionalā¦ Hundreds of people will gonna come and goā¦ Ok so u canāt take care of everyoneās feelings and emotionsā¦ Kitna bhi krlo u canāt make everyone happyā¦ So tell everyone bluntly that u have someone alreadyā¦ Or yai jo second thoughts aa rhee hai na dimag maiā¦ U like lil attention or whateverā¦ Stop seeking for itā¦ A girl who like attention from everyoneā¦ Will not beā¦
So set ur morals ethics values and standards for urselfā¦ Be a queen and queen donāt seek attentionā¦ So be blunt to everyoneā¦ Be straight forwardā¦ Or clear mindedā¦ Donāt enjoy lil fancy āØāØ
Listen. Youāre defeating the whole purpose of this space by being so judgemental towards me by calling me an attention seeker. I thought this was a judge free space where you could share your feelings. Secondly, if i was looking for his attention,i wouldnāt even re consider telling him the truth about my bf and wouldāve easily gone with the flow. But Iām not like that.
And please, stop using words such as morals and ethics and values. This incident has got nothing to do with it. You sound like a 16 year old kid.
TiaāØ @tia_rt
Taking my words in opposite directionā¦ But itās usual coz we are textingā¦ Would u like to dm!?
Tell him quick,we boys think if. Not today you might fall for us some other day,he will keep dreaming about you,after telling about you to his friends he canāt take if you are being with some one
Hey, How are you doing now? and How is life in large?
Hey. Doing great now. I told him about my bf and heās fine with it. Weāre still friends. He doesnāt cross his boundaries. He sometimes jokes around me like pulling my hair or something but never makes me uncomfortable or awkward.
