Hi,I just wanted to share that I have been suffering from past 12 years of public fear.
Its been like I have lost the most important years of my life.
I get scared of someone recognising me or I feel as if people will judge me.
I have lost hopes on humanity,I don’t make any friends nor do I feel like trusting anyone.
I have worked hard in my life to climb in my professional space and I find it hard to let go of the thing that has happened with me.
How do I make my mind free and I want to live my life and not pass days.
i myself have reached the point at which i know that people are gross, when we say ‘log kya kahenge’ what are we actually talking about log…who judge people recklessly ? or log who dont know shit about anyone or anything? we dont have to prove them shit …let them think whatever they can we cant fight em all…remember they are gross (log) and gross doesn’t matter only YOU matter.
I have started my career with 8k in hand…I have spent a year or two without moving out of my room …
Sometimes I haven’t even moved out when I didn’t even have water to drink…
I have slept many nights without having food…
Just due to fear that people around me will spoil my life and they will think am wrong.
I work even under fear but I don’t have other means to earn a living.
From such a situations I have moved up in my career today that I’m able to afford a lavish lifestyle but still the days which I have seen has kept me grounded and till date I don’t spend on anything that’s not required to me.
Even to have food I used to fear to go restaurants or even at workplace.
I know the ones who spoiled my life and I have been living to see where they will reach by doing so.
I still get thoughts of taking revenge someday…
Whether what I think is right or should I just hand it over to karma to take care of it
I have decided not to have a family …
I’m living just for my parents since I dint want to let them down.
I don’t want to specify my age…I’m still young at my heart…
