Hi, I am trying this for the first time so I would be really grateful to have someone genuinely answering/suggesting ways to handle it.
I got married in feb 2020 to an NRI and due to pandemic we had to stay apart for more than a year. During that time my father in law troubled me a lot by picking on petty issues and it used to turn into heated arguments. I hated that alot as I do have anger issues. Its hard for me to cope with it. Already stressed due to the circumstances outside and having no job I had to get through it. Until one day when my father in law got so furious at the most pettiest thing and he came on to hit me(almost)saying, “I will Kill you!”
Fortunately my mother in law and sister in law came and stopped him or I cant imagine what would have happened that day. I shared this with my husband and he didn’t talk to his father for days. Till date my father in law hasn’t apologized but for my own mental peace, I decided to forgive him. Things are okay with him now(at least seems to be), but I feel I am deeply scarred by it. I still get goosebumps when that night goes on like a flash in my mind over and over again.
I have left the country 2 months ago and finally got to stay with my husband. And believe me, I prayed a LOT for this day to come. I am very grateful for being with my husband but since I have come here we already fought twice and while arguing I always come up with- “Please dont be like your father or this is not going to work between us”
I lashed out on him on a petty issue and now I feel guilty for making him suffer for his father’s mistake.
Can someone please help me? HOW should I handle this?
I LOVE MY HUSBAND and I really dont want to hurt him. After all He is the answer to all my prayers.
Set the mood and tell him your insecurities, all of them. Do so in a loving manner and tell him about the anger issues as well. This doesn’t have to become a throne in your blooming married life.
Thanks for replying. I am definitely trying this
aprajita @aprajita09
Dear I can understand what you r going through.Since you ate already away from your father in law so dnt divulge into what she said or did and never expect an apology,as it would never come.
Since you are with your husband and u know it was wrong to say him things…you should aplogize.and explain to him why that happened.
Focus on your present and forget the past.Many things happen with in laws,I am not saying to bear the torture,you should stand against it but dnt relive the hurtful moments forget that and move on.
Thanks. I am trying hard to move on and not let it affect me. its just difficult
aprajita @aprajita09
Its life honey,nothing is easy here…you only have it in full package,we cant pick and choose what we want in life but we can make it that way by our efforts.As you have said you hqve prayed to get your husband…prayers are answered but they also test you that are you worthy of whats given to you.Now that u two are alone,make moments and deepen your love…so that when hard time comes this bond of yours give strengh to both of you…life is as simple as it is for the life forms who dnt have “mind” the birds the animals they work hard when time is right and they hide and rest and slpw down when situations r adverse.God had blessed us with mind to make our life easier but we are nowadays use it to make life miserable…
Get a job involve in self care body n mind…cook eat well.excercise and spend time with your husband…dnt waste time on the things which can only hurt you and do nothing else…stay blessed stay happy…
Thankyou for writing… means a lot to me
aprajita @aprajita09
Always happy to help…
