Giawahni Blue @giawahni_b...
Hi, I am Blue. I am new here. And I felt like in need to pour my feelings out. I am deeply in love with this one guy. He came out recently that he is a bisexual. I know I am happy that he was able to step out and celebrate himself, but it shattered me that maybe I am not someone he will like for. He is attractive, anyone who will lay eyes on him will probably be pulled. And in this rainy night of October 20, 2021 at 12 midnight, I was watching Sex Education where Otis confessed to Maeve. And I was deeply attached to the Scene because I have a lot of words left unsaid for him. We are friends but he knows I am in love with him. And he is showing he does not care nor likes me. There were no hints of reciprocation. I really wanted him to like me back. But I cannot please people. And loving someone doesn’t come with hoping for them to like you back. And I have been dealing a lot of issues lately that swallowed myself. From my identity, my family, school, my real life background, home, friends, self issues, mental health and a lot more. And I have this feeling in my core that if only he’ll come to me and find me in the lost that I am in. I felt like everything could be partly solved. I wanted him to want me. And the more he is ignoring me, the more I felt like I want to be alone my whole life and not want to be in any forms of relationship anymore.
Love, Blue.
Deleted @anxius_mizlost
We are conditioned as children of broken, dysfuntional families that the ones hard to please deserve us and will bring us the love we deserve. But that’s almost never true. We deserve someone who seems us the way we see them, with love and hope and wantedness. You deserve someone who’ll not make you chase them or deprave you of affection but will pour it to you not just one day but everyday because they want to and not because they’re doing you are favour. I understand because I loved like this myself and I was discarded by a narcissistic just 2 days ago I’m still understanding the after affects of what I out myself through, yet again hahah but atleast now I’ve found out the reasons and what all this is a little bit I guess haha won’t claim nothing mahn cause after all what do we know and not knowing is the only thing we humans are really good at and some at pretending to know that it doesn’t apply to them. So without over complicating it or make it sound emotionless or selfish. I just want you to know, if you love someone who doesn’t love you back will leave you empty, while loving someone that loves you back will never make you feel empty let alone ve empty. And why we don’t want to be empty is to not become what made empty in the first place. Then were just running in circles I think. So if I make any sense to you. This isn’t going to be easy, this is going to be so uncomfortable but this will be good uncomfortable that will get you what you really want and not just an idea of it. And the person who’s meant for you is going through their own uncomfortable growth to meet you there at that sweet point where love is love is love, there is disagreements but you’re never confused or expected to clean the mess alone. you’ll be a team, not a master and a server, not a god and a follower, not a anything but equal contributors on the same farm or anything that’s equal mate! I don’t have an example as my Ex left nothing positive in my head, he took the last pieces that were left. So I am sure you’ve gotten the gist of it thanks for reading till the end if you could and congratulations on your patience and reading skills. Take care. Listen to good ass music, do something you like, educate yourself so you know you better and why are you better so next time someone comes or you are attracted to someone you’ll know if it’s healthy or not already so you can comfortably decide what to do next or how to not do anything next haha sending much love and warmth! Excuse my erratic emotions it’s the hangover symptoms of the breakup and trauma of 4 years
Hey Blue ,
One thing i’d like to say…is , you know moving on is the right thing to do. I know its gonna be hard , but its for the betterment of both of you as you also need to consider his feelings and point of view . So take a deep breath and move on. Of course you will find love again …this time its gonna be reciprocated !!! Dont u worry about that ❤
Concentrate on your career , life , family and trust me…you will find love again .
Good Luck !!!💖
