hi, have never been really much into describing my feelings and is something im workin on, but this year in a few words has been crazy. It all started great, I traveled, went to parties, met with friends, fell in love… for the first time in a long time I was confident and happy with my life and I tought that I had everything under control. When the pandemic started I was so anxious about everything yet I had no control about my feelings and eventually I ended up exploting toward the wrong people, I attracted the wrong energy (basically I was toxic to me and everyone around me) and ended up with a broken heart and a sense of not knowing who I am. I was feeling so empty and frustrated and then I started writing, it helped to start recognizing the point of view I was holding about my life from the perspective of an outsider. After months of being lost, I had already given up in all the activities I liked. Then, my dad returned to live with my mom and me after months of working on another country. He brought a sense of normality that helped me to reactivate myself, I was not happy but at least I was doing stuff. Now that Im used to have him around day to day sometimes I feel annoyed about things I dont agree with that he does. And now my grandpa and everyone on my house got covid, he is hospitalized and christmas without him was very harsh, he is doing better but there is a long road ahead. Im still not happy but all this reminded how superficial we are sometimes and that is really important to focus on what matters. What would you guys recommend to give a positive turn to my life? I really would like to make positive changes
you know what? I think you should just get away from it all, or if you can’t from because of lockdown; move your furniture and pretend you’re at a hotel or something. Just for a few days, do something but have fun. what feels good at that moment (as long as you’re being safe and careful!!) Then ask yourself what it is you want to change and how you can do it. If you need someone for a revolution, I’m your man (I’m a girl actually but that doesn’t sound the same lol)
You know i hated this covid time. For I was so heartbroken and so alone that I really didn’t know what to do. Fights with friends, family, loved ones. I was at a level that the day before my birthday I cried so so much that I felt like my eyes cant even produce any tears anymore. I was numb to everything. Ididnt feel happy I didn’t feel sad. I was just there. But after that things became better. Even the slightest improvement felt like a miracle. So what I’m trying to say here is that when you are at your lowest point, feel the pain, don’t avoid it, don’t force yourself to be positive. Feel it and release it because only after you have felt the pain you will be able to see the good in your life. You are at your lowest, only good can come to you now:)
