Thought

If you or somebody you know is currently struggling, please take deep breaths and reach out to somebody. Here are few resources that may help.

Krittika @dillydally

Hi guys, an Indian girl here. I really needed a place to vent and pour my heart out in a forum that is non-judgemental.

I have never seen my parents happy with each other. Always bickering, fighting, and name-calling and there have been rampant instances of physical abuse on my mother by my dad over the past 30 years.

My mother comes from an extremely well-off family, is well-educated, an independent woman, and worked at a bank. My father hails from a not-that-well-to-do family, is well-educated, and worked in a senior position at a manufacturing firm. He is a narcissist, an egocentric individual who is slightly sexist too. The kind of person who blames other people for his failures and problems. It is taking me a lot of courage to speak up but my father has been so violent with my mother during their early years of marriage that one day he accidentally broke my mom’s nose. He has beaten her up very badly that it gave her bruises all over her back, hand, and legs. My mother has often left home in the middle of the night and we took shelter in public places: sometimes in a temple, sometimes at a bus stop and my father could be least bothered about it. He had filed a divorce case once and we started living separately. I was 7 years old back then. I am talking about early 1999. Indian society has always been condescending to single women and I am talking about a time when it was not very common in India for middle-class women to leave their husband’s homes and live on their own. We have faced backlash, and humiliation wherever we went. My mother has tried to shield me the best she could but society is always cruel.

When I see the people I have known living happier lives, living their dreams, I can’t help but get jealous and lament about the life I have never had. A traumatic childhood, unloving grandparents, being considered a burden, I have seen it all. I have been affected by the mental trauma inflicted by my father which has molded us for the worst. I have been in severe depression for the past several years, have no social life, no friends, never been in a relationship. My past demons are so dominant that it has affected me in ways I cannot imagine.

This is not a cry for help. I just want to get out of my past and live a better life.

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Profile picture for Now&Me member @ricky_
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Profile picture for Now&Me member @anujvohra
7 replies
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Anonymous

Just take motivation from your mother, how she fought with those evils… And came out from that hell… You’re not a burden prove them… Acha time aane wala h don’t worry just keep working hard… Darna nahi h… Naa he give up karna h as your mom didn’t gave up… Keep fighting… God has something for you he has planned something good for you… Just give your best… Will pray for you and for that brave lady…
Regards
Your brother…

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Anonymous

I can understand, I show this thing happening, can we talk if you want may be it helps

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Anonymous

Are you okay? Can we talk?

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Ricky @ricky_

Hey 👋 it’s gonna be fine…take care of yourself and keep venting or asking questions or problems u wanna resolve in this platform…there are people who can help you and atleast console you atleast. Don’t isolate yourself…try to make many friends in real life with whom u can share problems with. Take care 🧡

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Anonymous

So sorry you have been through so much. May you get the strength to move forward leaving back all this trauma. Please take care of yourself and your mother.

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Anonymous

We are part of the society now and even going much more part of it further, I would like to say that the view on the independent women has to change a lot , it’s in the progress but, we need to normalise a single women and working women a normal good thing , that no one should make a fuss about. It’s really courageous of you to vent your pain, it’s a really hard experience for you, all the internal fights of a family, change the person in a way sometimes they can’t understand what happened to them. I hope you’re free from the difficulties. Jealousy is a valid thing, no one wants their childhood filled with such experiences. Please do make life your present, happier with good friends and experiences. If there’s anything to share, I am here, people are here.

Profile picture for Now&Me member @anujvohra

anuj @anujvohra

Sorry to hear about your experience. It’s good that you understand that your parents had difficult realation ship. You should try to have a good life since you have seen traumatized life yourself.i lt is very important for you to learn quickly from this,earlier than others and have a wonderful life. I am sure you should be taking steps towards that. More power to you and my wishes that you come out of it with more energy and enthusiasm. Good wishes to you and family

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