Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

Hi everyone , I am an Indian . I’m a 13 years old girl , I have been feeling weird lately like immediate mood swings , and the real thing is that my parents do not support me for what I want to do but Instead they are always after me for my studies, comparing me with others and their marksheets too the point is I’m really very weak at studies , I’m A student who got 10 out 100 how worse can it be , recently I cut my hand like small cuts done by glass I even have two pieces of glass in my bag it is like a help for me to feel calm down . I wanted to get this particular addiction out of my life but this addiction didn’t go instead bought me another addiction too which is " washing my hands very harshly when I’m stressed " I started it just few days ago so my hands are not that bad my parents don’t know about it and I don’t even want them to know , I know they love me but I feel like all their love is fake at times and, also the moment I step in my house I automatically become very sad , I have a forgetting habit like I can’t remember my childhood my friends tell me abour my childhood it really hurts for not being able to remember my childhood friends and stuffs , I wish u could tell my childhood to others and not others telling me about my childhood when I say " i forget "
I really mean it but my parents and all my close ones do not believe and also I live in a neighborhood where all my neighbour friends have brother or sister but me I’m the only child I feel so bad u know and when I tell my neighbours about this they are like “oo u are so lucky u don’t have any sister or brother” I feel so lonely . On top of that no suppport from who I had expected to get the most support from "my father ", these forgetting problems and my studying stress . Please help me