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Anonymous

Hi, Can anyone give me an advice? Please? Though this is really gonna be a long one but please I need advice please bear with me please.
I’m a girl I am 23 years old. I I don’t know if it’s the right decision or not at least I think it is.

Uhmm ok, I have a situation I am breaking up with my girlfriend, because I don’t know if I still love her anymore or not, I mean we’ve been in a relationship for 3yrs but ever since she cheated on me I became I don’t know.

I’m- I’m actually the type of partner who gives I always initiate, I sometimes, I think a lot of times do the gives and pay the meal we eat when we go out buy out something for her, well she gives the ride, and then when we graduated and have our own jobs, which I was actually the first one to have a job, where my job is a busy job because I am a frontliner a 12hr shift a day but still I make time so we could see each other. I always tell lies to my parents that I’ll be home late telling I still have patients to tend, do some paperworks when the truth is not.

In that time she does not have a job because she failed her licensure exam but that is ok we can still try, SHE can still try again but she didn’t, she was on standby not trying to find a job and that is ok give her time she’ll eventually bloom but then… she falls for a friend which is also a friend of mine (the friend does not have the slightest idea that my gf is falling for her) they always go out going somewhere which she lies it to me while me is busy tending and in duty and when I found that out I was hurt that I actually beg for her not to leave me, choose me in which she did and I don’t know maybe so I could stop nagging her but then she became cold and cold which I kind of did the same thing.

And then she got a job we got busy and busy which she sometimes not busy because she keeps leaving her job saying it’s so tiring and the salary is not that good then find another then resign again I was so stressed out about that when I shouldn’t be but thankfully she found a permanent job and things is kind of getting a little better for us, or at least its what I thought what I had Hoped but then my bday came I actually thought she’ll be the first one to greet me instead she was the last one like she forgot it or she did forgot it but I let it go it’s ok I let it passed.

then I realized it was always me who gives and surprises her when it’s her bday and then her bday came I did not do anything for her I greeted her but did not give anything because yeah we are both so busy wherein I am not the priority anymore the friends and the colleagues are much more prioritize than me but that is ok (ofc its not ok). Then there are no sparks anymore we don’t chat that much anymore though I always say “gnight, gmorning, I love you, I miss you” she also replies but sometimes not. We really dont talk anymore but I always still initiates I still go to their house greet her family (still saying lies to mine) so just we could catch up still no progress. And then one day, I brave enough myself to ask her if she still loves me and I-did- NOT get a straight answer she keeps swaying then I ask if she still loves me the way she was in love to me before the cheat happens or NOT anymore or much more love me now? She didn’t answer right away but she replied: “I loved you more before but now It FADES” I was so shock I was so hurt but then I asked if we can still try? And then she got kind of mad like why are we having this kind of conversation and then I told her the problem but puts the blame in me that I am always “busy” and then began saying what about her sacrifices? In which it did not even made a sense in me like I’m the one who always do the first move, I always pay the food we eat and when she wants to buy something I pay for it bcoz she doesn’t have her wage yet but I never charge her for those, I come-by by their house even though I just got out in a 12-hr-duty-night-shift but she- she doesn’t even come by in which btw her family knows about us which mine still not ,she is not even pushing me to tell it to my family or does not even want to introduce herself to them but I let it passed again and because I was sounding that I’m about to break up with her I suggested that maybe I could still give it a chance If she ever make an effort I suggested it to her she didn’t say yes or nod but then that night she messaged me like courting like “hi” I replied Hello then she replied “Can I take your number miss?” I was not able to reply fast because I was in a duty but it wasn’t an hour passed or 30mins even, when I replied saying “sorry late reply, I was in duty” then she never replied anymore days passed and nothing. Then yesterday I messaged her ending it, breaking up on her. She saw my message but did not reply but today she did, asking “if there is no really love anymore? No chance anymore?” I was not able reply yet but I don’t know I think there is no more I mean I am kind of want to date anyone now again specifically a guy (coz there is this guy who always accompany me) it’s just I don’t know if it’s the right decision? Any advice ? I Know this is really long but anyone? Please? Thank you!

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Anonymous

Let it go if it is good for both of you. You gave your best and tried hard, so you will have nothing to regret. Be straightforward with warm heart and take your call. You know it better what you want in your life.
I may not know how it feels to be in that situation but I can say this… Take your call and stand firm on your decision. If you did your best, you have nothing to regret.

Hey! You could start by listing the things you want in a relationship , what you like and what you do not. Once you kinda get an idea of what you want ,it will get easier to address the issue and solve this whole dilemma and it will be easier to understand and express her what you need in this relationship if you want to stay. This sounds insane but it is a proven method which might help, which I am trying to follow right now. At the end it is you who knows the best. Go with your instincts. You can forgive cheating if you want to and move on IF YOU WANT TO.
All the best 😌🤗