Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

Hi all
I figured out that when something is hauting you or making you feel low, penning down your thoughts really helps you. Usually i typed in my laptop, but today here.

I am a person who is always available emotionally to my friends when one is depressed or facing failures. But when i am at low point or feeling bored there will be none.

Ex: i have a friend , who use to cry as she couldn’t get through a competition (an exam)that we were preparing and her family members were pushing for marriage. I consoled her , supported her and even spoke to her parents and ensured she gave another try and succeeded.
Now i have to take appointments to speak with her.

Ex: other friend( a boy) used to call me in odd times (like 4:00 am in the morning) saying he is afraid of the future (he was really frustrated at work). I asked him to come and stay with me. He did and we worked a way out of his anxiety(i thought it just happens in movie but anxiety attack do happen in reality).

Having shared an emotional connection with these people (not just these two😅) when i feel low (may be because of my isolated speaking to them, they are totally different people.

Infact, today is such one day i don’t know why i am feeling the emotyness. May be because i failed to achieve my daily planned tasks (just a small thing and i can cover it up tomorrow) and not so good news from my lawyer. (This one is the culprit😄 i guess)

I rang her up in afternoon and she said she will call me in a bit. I tried to speak with my friend, he is busy with his chatting.

Now My state of mind is like, if anyone calls me up , if by cvudemt they ask me if i am ok, then i am gonna spill out everything that’s been stuck inside me for years.😄

So, now i feel like i should have accepted when a girl proposed me. And i shoul have had a gf. But i chose to chase my goals 🤦

what i have realised throughout isolated lone year is
- Boys too go through low points and feel down. And feel like having someone to comfort them.
- friends are important. But limited to certain matters only.
- understood why having a gf is not so bad in achieving your goal.( Family also, but in my case i have to act stronger infront of them)
- everyone has a story and want it to be heard.so be a good listener
- eventually , i am the solution. I.e i have to find the source of my happiness and sadness and try to be happy.

Hmm
As mentioned at the top, i am somewhat feeling light and will sleep forgetting what happened.

Good night