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Anonymous

Hi all . I am married for 8 years with 2 children . I am at the border line to get yelled out because of the tortures faced by my mother in law and the triggers she gives to my husband to beat me. My husband does nothing at home when we were in a joined family ( he , his 2 brothers) . I used to struggle with 2 kids with 2 c sections done . My mother in law is a good actor and very talented . She shows off her talents everywhere which was very visible to me . She acts as if she takes care of me in front of my husband . She supports her elder daughter in law just because she got screwed up from her elder son once for scolding her. She scolds me in front of everybody’. Everything I shared to my husband for which he said me to ignore . But now the problem has raised to a level where he beats me for everything in front of everybody if he thinks he can’t control me . My mom once came home and questioned them but she was ill treated and accused me of a bad grown up. All the maid who was there opened everything how my kids were treated and how elder sons kids were treated . She has once strongly said ‘ get out of the house ‘. So I moved out for which all blame came to me because they turned the things against me to my husband . He begged me to come back saying we have a 3 floor house ready and we can move there . And then we moved but problems dint vanish because they were put up in ground floors and we were at 1 st floor . Mother in law used to cook for his first and third sons but not for us . We kept a maid to cook and take care of the kids because I was working that time . And she made sure that my husband alone was getting necessary food items he likes. His elder brothers wife doesn’t cook at all , doesn’t take care of her kids . It’s all my mother in law who cooks for them and takes care of them. But not a 1% she took care of my kids . All these my husband know. Sometimes he asks me to cook for his mother and I have did . Once when I dint he took the entire food and gave his mom and left me nothing. It has become very normal that he can beat me , abuse with words saying my family as prostitute family . I don have father for the past 9 years . There is nobody to support me from my side . Now we are in USA , he is trying all possible tries to bring his family here . I am now ready to get separated from him . I am a bold girl as always but I am so scared in this matter . It is now like I am all alone Suffering with 2 kids .

8 Comments
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sreejadj

Well ,you don’t need to be hurt urself in being with him and his family, I think suffering alone with ur 2 kids is better than being in such a family ,just be strong and do it

Anonymous

Thank you so much for reading this big one and replying me . It really gives me strength

take a breath and tell yourself quotes that inspire you; make a plan and leave. You are not safe with a husband who beats you, and you deserve so much more than a life of bruises and pain. You are worth so much more. Slowly take some money and hide it when you can. When your husband is out, pack a small bag, only necessities, along with your kids and their things, and run. Just leave. Break off contact, you cannot heal in the same place you got hurt. Run and protect yourself and kids. I’m sorry if this sounds harsh, I just can’t stand how cruel some people can be, it hurts to know that good people aren’t getting treated well. Please, run. It is much better to suffer alone than suffer at a fake home. Talk to some of your closest friends, and stay with them until you can get enough money for yourself and kids. I know it’s scary but you’re brave. Call the police. Tell them what your husband has been doing to you, if you can get a witness or set up a camera so they have to believe you. Don’t sit in silence while the arsehole wins. If you want to talk more, just know I’m here to support you. Good luck. Remember how brave and amazing you are <3

Anonymous

Thank you for your wonderful words . I am scared for his beatings . I can make myself financially strong . I am strong in all other ways .

That is really good. Try to gather some money and leave. You deserve so much better, you deserve happiness, not hurt. In the mean time, stay as safe as you can :)

Hey!
Thank you for sharing your story. There are many women out there who face the same problem of their husband being abusive and mother-in-law being the culprit.
People of 25 years into marriage get separated from their husband because she knows she can’t be controlled but is a head strong women like you. You have just been there for 8 years and have a life to live. This way it will become extremely difficult because you said that even after he requesting you to come back and moving out he is the same. There are chances he won’t change even after you tell him you wish to or planning to get separated. Maybe see his actions after you tell him (if you decide you are going ahead with it) and then take a further step.

I have read cases where women start from scratch with having kids. You know, when we as women decide something in life after we have gone through certain problems, we get double the strength than what we had. When we are right and our intentions are correct, there is no stopping. If you take this decision, think I have people with me who think I am right. I am doing it correctly. I have my life to live. I’ll teach my kids the right values. Nobody has the right to talk dirt about my family. I am proud of what I am and what I can be. There will be struggles but always remember after everything bad we see there is a light and we have to be there. Your kids are gonna be proud of you.
If the next time he raises his band, you should hold it and say “Don’t do this ever again”, don’t let him raise his hand because he knows he can control you but once he knows you are standing for yourself he will automatically stop because it will hurt a man’s ego.

I am with you and I know you will make a good decision. For you and your kids. A mother knows the best for their children. 💖😊

Anonymous

Oh my God thank you. It really gives me strength. I don’t know what really stops / scares me . I am just not bothered even if he leaves me . I am not bothered even financially . But I really don know to find out what is that ?

Okay. So, sit down alone where there is no disturbance. Ask this question to yourself and don’t force an answer but bring back all the past/current thoughts and some will rush through your mind.
Ask - Did something in the past happen, making me feel this way? Did I felt the same some time back? What does he do that triggers this idea in me?
I don’t even care now if he leaves me. I am not scared of being financially independent. I am not scared of starting a new life with my 2 kids. Then what is it?

Maybe it’s the whole ‘family’ thing that will be shattered? Or, not living in the same house anymore and the kids won’t be used to going back in that home with their dad and grandmother?
Think and process, it will come to you gradually.🌼