hey, uh. I think I’m going to give this a go again. It’s been about a yeah or something stupid since I last really was here. But I have no where to go. So now I’m just gonna be asking you guys I guess.
So um. Today. I’m not exactly sure where the line of consent went but I’m pretty sure it went out the window. I pushed myself too far. I knew I should’ve said no when he kissed me cause it felt awful but I thought maybe it would get better. But then when he was touching me. He was a little rough. But he meant well, right? I don’t really remember him checking but I know he did for most of it. But I didn’t really want it. Idk. I don’t think I can see him again tomorrow but he came 5 hours to see me, stayed in a hotel all week. I never should’ve gone there.
It’s okay 😷
Correct…talk to him about it…if he still insists…then you are brave enough to decide
because I’m depressed and suicidal cause he abused me. I didn’t want to believe it but I told him i didn’t really want it, that it hurt but he kept going. Now I’m suicidal again
Ugh…it’s dwelling my memories…
How are you feeling rn
depressed, sick at the thought, stressed and alone
Decide for ur self…if it doesn’t feel right u shouldn’t
I didn’t go
Hey,
When you’re saying the consent went out of the window - do you mean you didn’t stop when you had to or the guy went too far without asking for it?
Either way, did he ask if he could kiss you? If not, did you stop him halfway or let it happen? If yes, what’s bothering you right now; that you didn’t want it?
he went too far. The kissing was consentual but him fingering me wasn’t. I was too scared to tell him to stop for a while, just said it hurt and I didn’t really want to but he kept going then I said stop and it took a sec but he did.
Mine all started from that stupid hug…i had hugged he forcefully kissed even after saying no several time…i had turned my face too…n that stupid thing u mentioned here happened…the more i was denying the more force he was used…it was offensive to him… i sometimes feel disgusting even now…its been a year… it fu***d up my mind…
Had*
Okay. He was wrong in not asking before doing that and you also had to state it then and there. What made you scared though; something of yourself or him thinking of you?
How’re you feeling right now? Learned something or from the next time you’ll know when to say yes/no. It is okay to make a mistake but don’t be harsh on yourself. We’ll learn from our experiences. 🌼
I’m so sorry you went through that. That’s such bullsh*t not taking no for an answer. I’m sorry
I was scared cause i was at a motel where no one knew where I was, I’m 5’2 and he’s 6’3 or something. I was alone. I was scared that if I said no he’d keep going anyway. I’d rather stay in denial I guess. Now I’m feeling suicidal and sick at the thought of it all. I just want to die. I hate myself for being so stupid and not saying no sooner, but isn’t saying it hurt and I didn’t think it’d work similar enough?
Tbh…saying no didn’t really help…
that’s true. When I said no a few times then he stopped. It shouldn’t have taken that long should it?
Definitely no…it shld hv been just the next second…
you’re right. I guess I make excuses for people too much cause I don’t think I’m worth much (I’m also getting kind of philosophical because it’s 1:40 am for me haha, so, sorry!)
I get it when u say u feel sick at the thought of it n all weak…it is really going to take time… did u speak to him after all tht?
yeah. I couldn’t go running home, so we went out for a drink. I was still telling myself it was consentual. I broke up with him and then he went back to his town (he lives a long way away and came up for the week to meet me, we met online. Cringe, right? I made every mistake) and yeah. I said sorry for breaking his heart and he kind of excused what he did and apologised in the same sentence?? Which confused me a lot. He was one of my best friends. We talked everyday. Now I can’t even go to my favourite places cause I took him there and it reminds me of him
It’s okay sometimes you feel obligated though you aren’t…I wonder if u had any past experience of being abused…i had been…mayb so it left a huge difference in me about how i be with people…its made me a lot quieter…introverted and unapproachable person in real life… definitely things that happen to you will affect you…I’m really sorry that u had to face all such things…nothing will help for a while but sooner u will get better and know that it wasn’t your mistake…you need to apologize to ur self…ur body for letting that happen…n for that sake do smthg for urself…mayb it would help
I just spoke it out as i felt it all again…in case if he had made u hurt more than i apologize darling… and yes if u wish to connect I’m up for it🙌🙃❤💖
