Today I’m going to share something with you.
So, when I was little my family didn’t liked me at all but they liked my brother. Why? Coz, he’s a boy, he cares about everyone, he listens to everyone. Whenever he does something wrong he always puts his fault on me and I was the one who was scolded. This happened for many years, every month, every week. So, no one loves me. Whenever my brother cries everyone is there for him but when I know one is there for me. Whenever I have a fight with my brother and he hits me then no one see’s him but when I hit him everyone scolds me. And my grandmother and grandfather they always scold me but not brother. Everytime I see people with their family I feel so jealous it’s just I don’t have a nice family who loves me.
You know, my father is a doctor and I know he’s busy but he’s not busy at home, he always ignores me and is always on his stupid phone. You know father’s love their daughter the most but my father he’s opposite. And all he cares about is his phone and biology and marks and first place.
And my mom she also doesn’t care about me, she thinks that I’m the one whose being bad but actually she’s one whose being bad. I can’t share anything with her coz all she do is to tell people that her daughter is the worst. No mother does this.
My family doesn’t allow me to have a pet, to makeup, to open hair when I’m going outside, to talk to boys, to wear nice dresses. They doesn’t allow me to do anything. I’ve always wanted to do all these but I can’t coz I want them to know that I’m a good girl, I don’t cry in front of them coz I want them to know that I’m a strong girl. They have already planned everything, what I have to do or what I don’t. I can’t even become something what I want like an engineer,or a scientist or an idol, singer, they want me to become a doctor. I wish I wasn’t in this world, I wish I die. Even God is not helping me so I have decided to give up on God.
And about my friends, I don’t have any friends, coz they are jealous of me because their boyfriends like me, because their best friends like me, teachers like me, I’m beautiful, I’m good at singing, dancing, painting. They really hate me and talk at my back.
Sometimes I think I’ve been cursed to whatever I’ll want, I’ll never get that and it really is true. I wanted friends but I don’t have any, I wanted my family to be together but it is not because of my father coz he loves another women but not my mom and I can’t even tell this to my mom because I’m scared that she’ll hurt herself coz when I was little by mistake she knew it and she was going to kill herself but because of us she didn’t die. That women keeps destroying my family and I can’t do anything I don’t know why my father likes that women I’ve saw her talking with my dad and I don’t know what to do.
I’ve always wanted three things in my life and those are FAMILY, FRIENDS and LOVE. I truly want these three. I wish someone was there who can help me.