hey so when i was 2 i got sexually assaulted while my mom laid sleep in bed with me while growing up i got sexual assaulted various times and never said a thing to my family cause i thought it was normal my family has always been cruel and cold towards me and made me insecure they always say i had everything growing up when all i got was assaulted , hurt , and bullied i have two brothers and one specific one always hurts me with his words he never liked me he once told he wished he could kill me and when i try to defend myself my mom gets mad at me for saying anything i want to run away and js leave them behind my bf is the only one there for me but he has a life and a career i don’t want to run away to him and bring my problems in his life i just want a break he’s the only light i have right now but we live and 2 different states and i can only see him for 2-5 days then i leave for 3-4 months and i go back to being defeated and depressed idk what to do
I know you must feel very sad and distressed…my any words may not be able to comfort you…if you feel offended by what I will say I am sorry but…I wonder if you are already an adult…if you are already above 18…you can leave home right? If you have your own phone you can search in Google “How to disown your family”. If they are abusive, you have free will to break free from them. If you can do online jobs or some work that can earn you money after you collect enough money you can leave the city…if they try to follow you or try to blame you for something…I think it’s better to report it to police beforehand, so if they try to do something, they can protect you…it will be good if you have some evidence of them bullying you are they using abusive words towards you…if I am correct emotional or mental abuse can also be called a crime if it on purpose. As for the sexual assault, you have to stand up against that, I know it not easy but it will be best if you carry a pocket knife and see some self defence techniques in you tube. If you think you can’t, just stab that scumbag who come harrass you, it will be fine unless you kill him. or hit any vital spots…but be sure to report him to police before he frames you. And about you being burden to your bf, if he truely cares for you, he will support you, you don’t have to completely depend on him, just make him help you in something you don’t understand, that is if you are going to follow the things I said. As for self harm…please don’t do it…harming yourself for worthless people are just useless…it will cause you more pain than them…stand up for yourself, be confident…only by trying your best you will be able to free from the pain and shackles you are bounded from…
