Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

Hey Now and me Family,
After a really long time I am back here writing what I felt today and I seriously don’t know whatever I’m feeling is realistic or just a product of my overthinking.
Here it goes,
In the evening, after my dinner I was just walking on my terrace and I had a thought.
Since, I am a single girl child in my whole family (consider the extended ones too), i am the most loved kid at my place, and people say I am LUCKY.
Am I??
I don’t think so, because when I’ll be needing someone or wants to share some stuff which cannot be done with my parents, anybody will surely look up for their siblings, even if their equation is NOT too good, but still, they will look up at them.
But, I dont have anyone to look up at.
Whenever I think of leaving this country and moving overseas for education and work, the only thing which makes my thought and dedication tremble is “What if I am there outside this country and my parents need me, and I am not there to be with them?” what if something unexpectedly bad happens and i couldn’t even be by there side.

These thoughts kill me.

Thoughts like this make me cry hard. I know I am missing way too much out. Losing a sister when you are young because of her medical conditions and seeing your parents crumbled is one of the worst thing i could ever imagine.
And now thinking that what if i am not good enough to take care of them, scares me.
Its not like ki, i wont be taking care of them, but what if i am not with them when they need me the most. What if something bad happens and it takes everything with it?

I dont know what ever I am thinking is valid or just a product of over-analyzing.
But, Am I wrong?

For outside world, Being a single GIRL child is really cool, but it eats me up every day.