If you or somebody you know is currently struggling, please take deep breaths and reach out to somebody. Here are few resources that may help.
@moonkkun
hey, i just wrote some of my thoughts and i dunno where to share them, so here i am.
i feel a bit reluctant to do this but whatever heh~
might be some grammar errors since eng isn’t my 1st language.
Since when I have become such cold person?
I don’t even remember the last time I genuinely smiled or laughed.
Why does every day I wake up there are invisible needles piercing my chest?
I don’t know what I desire, interest, excitement. Do I forget all does things?
My chest feels empty somehow cold like something is missing and I don’t even bother to find it.
Sometime it aches so much but I couldn’t shed a single tear like a statue that didn’t shows any emotions.
I used to be a person who loves to explore new things but I feel more comfortable confining myself in my room where I don’t have to worry trivial things.
Am I changing into another person who isn’t me? Or it is me?
Why am I so tempted to harm myself? Is it the only excitement the left in me?
Am I losing my direction? I feel numb.
When did it started?
I can’t remember but it is like it keep growing little by little until I noticed it broke me.
I feel like I am an empty shell nothing more than that.
Is it I’m not allowed to make mistakes or being imperfect?
Am I a disappointment?
Every single day I feel tired, even breathing felt like needles strangle within me.
If I stop breathing, will this shit end?
Am I ungrateful for being alive? Am I too weak?
I’ve afraid a lot of things but what terrified me the most was losing my family members and left alone. However, that was the past. I feel like when you are alone no one will try to break or harm you. Isn’t better?
What happened if I closed my eyes forever? Will God accept me and forgive my sins? Or will I sink into the bottom of hell for eternity?
Am I sick? Do I need help?
When all this tiredness goes away? I slept, I ate, I showered but it is still there and growing. Will it haunt me until I grow old?
How many years I already endured this? I don’t even know anymore.
What is life? Am I worth enough to breathe in this place? I have everything I wanted yet I don’t feel like I should.
Am I being thoughtless? But isn’t it great for someone like me leave in the first place?
