Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

Hey…
I am new on this platform and it is a lengthy post… recently i had a breakup… and i want to understand things from a boy perspective…
In the early days of our friendship… we were not in a relationship… he abused me then i blocked him… but he cried and apologized so i let that go… then we came into a relationship but he was very sceptic… and I didn’t give him a single reason to think this way… i was loyal… respectful and honest… but still… he was the same… he used to tell me… that he is not sceptic he is just possessive… he didn’t let me meet any of my male friends… if i was talking to someone he thought that i am cheating on him… i loved him… i lost all of my friends…but i didn’t leave him… he told me that in his first relationship the girl cheated on him that is why he is like this…
I felt that he seriously loved me that was the only reason i was with him…
Then by time passing he cheated on me and blamed for that… he said i was not giving him that space that’s why he had to do it… i brokeup with him… then cried and took sleeping pills i didn’t know what to to… i was there to support him… holding his hands… he stpped abusing… but i found him deleting chats and i couldn’t trust him anymore… now my family wanted me to marry i told him that i am having some problems within my family they were not approving him… i asked him to support me mentally and emotionally but he left me… he abused me again… he does not support me whenever he is supposed to… it’s been 1 month… i can not forget him… i still love him… he curses me now… and he is talking to other girls… and having physical relation with them…
I am not sure if he ever loved me