hey anon this is just for you

i'm gonna kiss my girlfriend and ill do it in front of you and any other homophobe friends you have because girls are so hot and pretty and im very gayyyyyyy and oh no im not putting a trigger warning whatever will the poor anon do 😢

I’m not putting a TW because it’s not a triggering subject. Just stop.

LGBTQ

I wish I get to go on the date I planned with a dude tomorrow I want to ask him to start dating me. He asked if I'd date him three times but I was so confused as I've never met him but keept talking to him recently I met him and I really really like him so I wanna ask him out. But I hope he does not cancel the date because of work in the morning. I'm so nervous. Also should I get him flowers ??? 

Relationships

Nowadays I am feeling too lonely and exhausted when I  go to school there is nobody to talk everyone ignores in tution also everybody ignores known people in what's app also blocked me everyone blames my mental health and I always feel hopeless while listen to this

Depression

The Biggest mistake I ever did was I never loved her because all the time I was in love with her
There is a big difference between being in love with someone and loving someone

3am Thoughts

i was 4 when my mom enrolled me to my first kathak class. i was always told that these classes are only because she wanted me to do something more studies but she also made it very clear from the very start that this cannot be my career option. I always agreed to it , and maybe i still do because I've always been good with my studies and  I have my dreams with that too. As a kid it was always a deal with my mom that i study and get good grades and i can perform on stage as much as i wanted to. At the start i was only doing it because i was made to do it but eventually i fell in love with the artform. Now I don't have time for it. I crave to perform. And every time i see people who have so much time to practice ,are going for competitions and taking it up as a career I'm just so jealous, i cry. Right now my only wish is i get to do kathak like before, i get to perform. 

Age 14-16 anyone?

Lonely

Guys i really really need your advice/healp/suggestions whatever we call it. I met this guy on a dating app. He had sent me the initial interest and i liked his profile so we started talking. It has been like 2 weeks now. So i was the one who had asked foe his number. The first time we talked it went on for 12 hours straight. I know thats ridiculous and please pls pls dont judge me for that. I mostly dont even remember now what we talked about. But it was mostly about basic stuff and music, etc.. 4 hours in the first call he says he wants to be exclusive because he feels this connection. I was like excited to have found someone who thinks the way i do. And i said yes, after a bit of hesitation. In sometime we were talking about loyalty and what i would expect in a relationship. He talks less and listens more. We also agreed to kind of meet soon as we vibed a lot. We decided on a common place and decided to meet. During the talk he said he loved me, i think i had somehow slipped it from my mouth first and then he stuck to it saying he loved me. And then my mind questioning it the whole time. He said he loved me and he really does. We kept talking everyday and we started doing video calls, mostly where he was only talking when it was about sex. Also durjng the past 14 days we later on decided i go and meet him in his hometown which is like 1000 kms away. I booked my flights. And we decided on the stay. But i had been anxious the whole time. During our video calls, he said he wants to make me his wife, and wants to have children with me, and he wants me to shift to his hometown. And i was like ecstatic and doubtful at the same time. The thing is he just does not talk much about anything else apart from sex.. Very few things. Like i dont know much about him and he does not know much about me. And he just does not talk. When i talked about this whole thing to 3 of my good friends, they said he is just playing you because he knows what you need to hear in to let him have sex with you. And i cancelled my flights and asked him to wait it out. He is talking to me still, and says he is not going to leave me because he loves me and he is going to marry me. I am so confused. Please help me. I am anxious and sad. I dont know how and what to do. Please help me. 

Confusion

Been job searching for the last 5 years and have been only getting temporary contract jobs. I want to move from this place. I just completed my degree & awaiting graduation, I hope my job search gets better 😞

Education

I am not feeling well
I am having a headache and an urge to vomit
I am crying 
I am feeling suicidal 

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