Hey all. I’m looking for advice from someone in the LGBT community. I’m having a weird sense of identity at this point in my life. I want to be a part of the LGBT community because I love so many of its members and we share a lot of the same ideologies. I’ve always considered myself a Allie. I support organizations within the community, I advocate for their rights, I’ve been out for protests, and you’ll catch me downtown every year for pride day.
I become conflicted however, when I realize that I myself am a heterosexual. I’m certainly not your average hetero male. I think gender norms in relationships and in life are wak as fuck. I wear funny hats some days because it makes me feel pretty. And I’ve always wanted the confidence to wear kimonos and feel good about the way that I look. I honestly reject some aspects of myself that are considered masculine. I feel all of the best aspects of my character are feminine and I embrace that fact and I feel better about myself in flamboyant clothing.
The issue arises when I realize that I’m heterosexual and not actually LGBT but I’m just an Allie. I want to be a part of the community and I want to meet people who share my ideologies, but I can’t help but feeling like I’m faking being a member. I don’t want people to think that I don’t believe in these things or feel like I don’t belong simply because I’m heterosexual. I’ve thought about a label for myself as “heterosexual queer” but that in itself is paradoxical.
If anyone can provide thoughts or opinions it would be greatly appreciated. I want to be apart of it but I don’t want my lack of different sexual orientation to come off as insincere and I don’t want to offend anyone who is true LGBT by undermining who they are.