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Hey all. I’m looking for advice from someone in the LGBT community. I’m having a weird sense of identity at this point in my life. I want to be a part of the LGBT community because I love so many of its members and we share a lot of the same ideologies. I’ve always considered myself a Allie. I support organizations within the community, I advocate for their rights, I’ve been out for protests, and you’ll catch me downtown every year for pride day.
I become conflicted however, when I realize that I myself am a heterosexual. I’m certainly not your average hetero male. I think gender norms in relationships and in life are wak as fuck. I wear funny hats some days because it makes me feel pretty. And I’ve always wanted the confidence to wear kimonos and feel good about the way that I look. I honestly reject some aspects of myself that are considered masculine. I feel all of the best aspects of my character are feminine and I embrace that fact and I feel better about myself in flamboyant clothing.

The issue arises when I realize that I’m heterosexual and not actually LGBT but I’m just an Allie. I want to be a part of the community and I want to meet people who share my ideologies, but I can’t help but feeling like I’m faking being a member. I don’t want people to think that I don’t believe in these things or feel like I don’t belong simply because I’m heterosexual. I’ve thought about a label for myself as “heterosexual queer” but that in itself is paradoxical.

If anyone can provide thoughts or opinions it would be greatly appreciated. I want to be apart of it but I don’t want my lack of different sexual orientation to come off as insincere and I don’t want to offend anyone who is true LGBT by undermining who they are.

Post anonymously?

I’m part of the LGBT+ community, though I’ve never really been to anything like pride, being far from the city and so far in the closet I could’ve found Narnia until this year. I’m bi, and I always feel like I’m not a real part of the LGBT+ community especially around my lesbian friend and trans friend, but the LGBT community is meant to be an open and excepting place, made for outcasts of society who join together by common beliefs and similar emotions; if we aren’t excepting then we’re just as bad as the 'phobes. You might not be any of the letters, but you are sure as hell an Allie. Embrace your differences. The fact that you dress in fun ways and have such a strong belief in something even though it’s not you is pretty dang special. You aren’t faking being a member, you’re being true to yourself. IDK about the others, but I hereby proclaim that you’re strong spirit and soul makes you an honorary member of the LGBT+ community!! :D


Your word are so kind that I almost shed a tear. Thank you for this. :))


🤣applause for the best closet joke I’ve ever heard

😂 thanks I actually found it somewhere, I think it was Tumblr?


I know EXACTLY what that is like. A few months ago I felt exactly the same, like I really wanted to be a part of this amazing community, but I was just pretending. Now I have realized that I am bi, but you say that’s not the case, so I will give you the advice I wish I could have given myself.

Just be there for people. You seem to be doing an amazing job of being true to yourself and being an Ally, so trust me, if you keep doing what you’re doing, you will be accepted by the LGBT+ community. When people ask you at pride or anywhere if you are lgbt, be proud in saying that you are an Ally and being as true to yourself as you can be. You’re doing great, keep it up