Hello just new here and this is my first post this July. Hope things really get better in time…
I don’t know to start, but why is it hard to change old habits, feelings and way of thinking? I just want to let it all out maybe someone may notice and share good advices as to how to get out of this black hole inside my heart. For the past 2 months (actually it seems like always) I was feeling so down, I resigned in my job thinking of finding better opportunity, but things didn’t go well as expected. I thought it won’t take so much time to get in to this job that I was really looking forward too and that made me financially struggling. Right now I was stuck in our house waiting for an update since they told us to just wait. I guess this past 2 months of hiatus gave me time to think and reflect on myself. I feel like I’m having identity crisis, feeling unmotivated, so discouraged and lost. I’m trying to cheer myself up despite the situation I have, try doing new things but still after doing that I go back to that certain feeling of loneliness. Honestly, there are times that I keep asking myself what is it that I really want because I don’t know anymore. I don’t know if I am making my own dreams or goals or if it’s somebody’s dream that I was just trying to own. I feel like I was just running in circles without realizing where am I heading to. I just don’t know anymore. Early this morning I was focused on the positive side but right now, I feel like I’m embracing negativity again. It really makes me so unfocused to the point that I just don’t want do anything at all. I just hope that I can change for the better and be genuinely happy. But why is it so hard? (Can you help me understand please?)
