Hello, I’m really sad today because I was waiting for my boyfriend’s call. We don’t have a normal relationship anymore unlike before. Last year, when covid hit, all his investments and savings in his business went downhill so now he is broke. He lost his confidence and self-esteem. He is now very depressed. He moved out to his apartment because he couldn’t pay rent anymore so now he lives with his relatives. His relatives aren’t well off and most of them are struggling financially. He does not want me to go visit him because he is ashamed of his situation so we only see each other outside. It was okay at first but then he started to isolate himself and just didn’t want to talk to anyone including me. He constantly shuts his phone because he feels like there are so much distractions in it. A few months after, his phone broke so now he doesn’t have a phone anymore. He just puts his number on his cousin’s phone who has a dual sim. Our communication just got worse. We rarely talk and if we talk it will only last up to five minutes but sometimes if i’m lucky, it will reach 30 but that’s it. We don’t do that everyday. I think only once or twice a week. Sometimes even nothing at all. I have ptsd by the way and our relationship is just affecting my mental health. I really love him and I know that I should understand his situation but it gets really draining at times. It’s so hard to love someone who is also mentally unstable. To make things worse, he just doesn’t want to share his feelings with me. He just isolates and keeps it to himself. On the other hand, I want to do the opposite. I want us to be together for each other but he just doesn’t like it. He is the type of person who just wants his problems to himself. I also help him out at times though. I give him money when I have extra but today I just feel like crap. He messaged me and told me that there is no electricity anymore in their place so I lend him some money again. He was thankful though. I told him to call me because we haven’t talk for almost a week now and he promised that he would call a hour after but there was none. No call came and its making me so sad. I just feel like when I give him money, he immediately responds but when I just need him, he is mostly unavailable. I don’t want to think that maybe he is only using me for money but the way he is acting is just so draining you know. He just doesn’t reciprocate the same energy that I am showing him. I know he is depressed but I have feelings as well. I am human and I have feelings. It’s just so sad. It’s making me trigger my trauma. Battling with ptsd is hard and he just doesn’t you know care with what i’m feeling. I am so overwhelmed right now. I don’t know what to feel because I feel guilty that I am being like this. I should understand because he is having a hard time right now looking for money but I just don’t understand as well as to why he cannot at least call me after I donated a bit of cash for him. I am so overwhelmed with all this emotions. Please can someone give me an advice or something? I am in a really complicated situation. I don’t understand anymore. I am so drained. Can somebody help me?
Every person has their own way of handling situations. Some share their struggles while others don’t. It’s in their personality to keep it to themselves (& Suffer), that does not mean they are doing it on purpose it’s just the way they are! You both are in a difficult situation right now, irrespective of the severity of the problem. In my humble opinion you should give him some time and space and the same goes for you. You have tried your best to stay connected but sometimes its just better to give space for the relation to grow. Best of Luck & I hope everything goes well. Stay Safe and stay happy…
