Sharing Our Innermost Thoughts

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hello… I’m new to this and I feel like I don’t have anyone to talk to and I happened to found out about this site and wanted to give it a try.
I’ve been having a hard time with my mental health. I’m not diagnosed with anything and I’ve never been to a psychologist. I just feel like I’m not in a good state. I wanted to try seeing a psychologist but I saw the prices and it is quite pricey. Since I’m still a student, I don’t think I can afford it. I do think that my university has some psychologists but I don’t know get through them. I don’t feel like asking my friends because I don’t want them to ask questions about why I’m asking for a psychologist. So I guess I here I am on this website.

Something happened to me a few years ago that I still can’t forget until this day. I tried to let it go, but the memories keep coming back. I was a pretty cheerful kid and I could easily get along with everyone. But after that incident happened, I noticed that I’ve changed. I couldn’t really trust people anymore, I have doubts about whether the people around me actually cares for me or do they have hidden motives. I used to be so confident and comfortable with myself but now I’m not. I used to have no trouble speaking up and making decisions, but now I keep doubting myself and I can’t make a decision without a second opinion.

Before the pandemic, things weren’t this hard. I had school and friends that distracted me from overthinking and thinking about the past. But now I don’t have much friends to talk to. my current friends are quite extroverted and they make friends easily while I’m totally the opposite. I’ve tried making more friends but it just feels like I’m not a good match to any of them.

Like I said I’ve been having doubts about my family and friends. I’m an only child, I’m not really close with my parents. We used to be, but after what happened to me a few years ago? not anymore. I know this might be a bad thing to think about, but sometimes I think “do they care about me?” because there are times where I talked to them and they ignored me. I’m always alone at home and the only time I go out of my room is to eat.

I’m tired of crying and tired of being sad. I want to end it but at the same time I don’t want to. I don’t want to live but I also don’t want to end it. I just wish that I had never existed. I’m tired of feeling like this. I don’t know what to do to take my mind off of this. This is probably why I’m always on my phone, because the moment I put it down I’ll start overthinking and end up crying. I really want to have someone to talk to but I also don’t want to be a burden to them.

About the incident that happened a few years ago, I’m sorry because I don’t feel comfortable talking about it.

I’m sorry because this is quite a long post. Also I’m sorry if there are any grammatical errors because English is not my native language.
If you read this until the end, thank you (:

Profile picture for Now&Me member @dran89
5 replies

Heyy. You won’t be a burden here. You can write as much as you want. Although I would advise you to stay away from phone. Pick up some new hobbies maybe.


Thank youu, I’ve been trying to read more books and I hope it’ll help

Profile picture for Now&Me member @dran89

TeeJay @dran89

Hey there buddy! Good things take time to happen.

I guess this “incident” must have been very traumatizing for you. And after that, you have been forced to change somethings about you. Overthinking has been a way out but its taking its toll on you. Second guessing and looking too much into what has happened will get you nowhere. Trust me, I know.

Just strive forward, take small steps in getting back to how you were. Now that you know just how the world is, you will be wiser.

As for psychologist, if your uni has such services, then speak to a teacher or Professor. Let them know something about your situation. I’m sure they will help.

All the best 😊


Thank you so much! I’ll try talking to one of the professors

Profile picture for Now&Me member @dran89

TeeJay @dran89

An as always, feel free to talk to us on here! 😊

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