Hello,
I just have some locked up emotions which is making me cry over and over! I am a girl who does not cry for sthg more than once. But now its never like that. There are two things:
First of all, i came out about my relationship to my parents. Their reaction was as expected not really good. They cried, they used harsh words, they spoke in a very much negative way and tried to make me think what i have done is a mistake ( falling in love with a guy out of caste ). I am standing my ground. Yes! But still they reactions asking what our relatives will think or say. Or they will keep us away from the community is making me think more and more that they have not considered my happiness a bit also which they should have on top of all. They kept saying, u broke my trust, what uou have done is wrong, the guy is cheating you and you dont know it ( they judged him so fast with little information or no information ). Every single thing is upside down. But they are clearing acting as if they are happy outside. My mom is giving psychological advises to relatives and all. Because of this, my period is late. I dont know why. I had food that trigger me to get my period. It dint happen till date. The stress level is at its peak and also my overthinking. My parents started observing how late i am only when i told them about my boyfriend.
Second, I am an NRI who settled in india for higher studies. I was made to see myself as INDIAN and not by caste or religion. Infact, I came to know about the casteism only when i settled in here. The society is so fucked up. My parents characterized my boyfriend depending upon his caste. My relatives keep asking me about my marriage and call me new bride which is fucking irritating and are also pushing my parents to look for an alliance for me. Which is also irritating. This is way too much for me to handle. I feel like running away to somewhere. I clearly dont want to stay in such a society where I am clearly treated as item. Plus i am an extrovert and had huge group of friends. Which made other guys in my college call me “ITEM” and call out my name whenever i pass by. This till date hurt me a lot. Yesterday when i tried telling my boyfriend about how i dont want to stay in such a society and md being called as an “ITEM”. instead of comforting me. He simply asked me. Why are you seeing evrrything in a negative way. I was once the girl who gets goosebumps whenever I hear the national anthem. I feel like i dont want to live anymore at all. I am scared if these thoughts would trigger me to attempt suicide or something. I am so scared. I know people around wont be happy about me leaving the earth. I know i deserve to be lived. But somewhere inside, somebody keeps telling me, dont live. I want to be vanished. I am posting this here with a reallyyyyy heavy heart. Please help me out!
Firstly, please for god sake don’t take any wrong steps, we all have got just one life to live, don’t waste on what society will say or think…
you are an independent women, if you are sure about your choices and you know that your partner really loves then do what you really want to do, stop thinking about what society will say or what relatives will ask, because at the end of the day nobody would really care…
Just try to convince your parents, as to where your real happiness lies…
You get this girl, don’t loose hope, just be strong
You are right! I will surely stand my ground. Its just that the time isnt right for me to speak up again! The last time i spoke to my parents, i kept saying give it a thought and i dont want any solution right away. Plus it was 15-20 days ago. I am not at all sure about if i have to go back to them or they will call me to speak to me. Because the past 2 times, they called me to the room to speak to me. I am not sure i should go again. Whenever i speak to my parents. Their mood collapses for the next 2 days. And that is making me worry even more. Its hurting so much.
Hello,
1st, never let your emotions LOCKED UP cuz when you lock up it gets updated daily, i mean it gets added on untill it get burst out, i guess right now, it get bursted out,
Calm down, for a sec,
You must UNDERSTAND ITS OKAY TO CRY, BUT, it depends on what you are crying for,. Is it worth YOUR cry?. Is it that bad, that made YOU cry.?
Its okay to cry,
The 1st step you took was the BEST. People are STRUGGLING even to tell their parents, how i see is, get into the problem AFTER doing SOMETHING rather then getting into PROBLEM WITHOUT doin anything.
Often parents reaction to these things wont be upto OUR exceptions . Cuz they are not seeing YOUR, life from YOUR PROSPECTIVE, . What i mean is when parents are not seeing things from our prospective,
And it also depend on religion, i mean if you are a Muslim, they might have a reason
not sure about this but 👆
What you can do is,
you should bring up , YOUR story from THEIR prospective, i cant surely say you will win, give it a try, go to your parents again and tell everything from their prospective,
Stop letting people’s/parents negative words be in your MIND, listen from one ear and drop it from other, (👆this just goes to your family relation) , if someone in your family said something to you, just do that 👆thing, "
, DONT GO AGAINST THEM(relatives/family members) IT MIGHT MAKE THE SITUATION WORST for you, if something goes wrong between you and them, they can easily manipulate your parents,while you cant .
, ,
Standing on your ground, is also the BEST decision, 👍, you’ve done nothing wrong,
“WHAT YOUR RELATIVE’S WILL THINK” Means their reputation among family might get hurts because of your actions.
I guess thats what it means.
Yeas, you are right, they (you’re parents) are not considering your happiness, and they also think whatever the decisions they are making for you, they think they(decision) is best for you without even considering you. Thats what evey parents think. So what you can do is , go to them again, make them realize you are not against their decision , jist make them realize that
Phoenix @mdaarizamaan
Make them realize that they should least HEAR you out… Just hear,. Bring this thing to your parents attention they wont know untill you tell them. How you feel about them.
I guess you are getting overwhelmed , by overwhelming you are getting "stress, what to do, fading away the line between right and wrong. "
Just for a second CALM DOWN…
NRI
Well this is how whole india is. Here, whoeve6is older tha you think, he’s/she’s always right about you/about all the things.
What i would suggest is, dont hey botherd by such thi gs, focus on your self. Lol
INDIA IS ITSELF IS BASED ON CAST /RELIGION/GENDER…
I’LL TELL YOU SOMETHING
HERE IN INDIA WHEN YOU SPEAK UP BY SPEAK UP I MEAN DOING SOMETHING DIFFERENT FROM WHOLE .its too late for me to reply
As well as o cant think right now
Thinking is my ability, I’ll definitely reply you tomorrow, and I’ll DEFINITELY TRY TO CHANGE YOU SITUATION,
i wont give up on YOU☺
And sorry if i misinterpreted anything till now, sorry for leaving you in middle, gomainasai.
I actually have sthg to share. I actually didnt tell my parents i am in a relationship. Instead, i told them i m in love with a guy and he is in love with me. And i told him i will marry him if my parents accept. And also i told my parents i said okay partially. I also revealed that i am in contact with him. My parents called me to the room the day i revealed it to them and 15 days later they spoke to me again. I kept convincing them and telling them give it a thought. I dont want any solution immediately and all i want for them is to think out of box for me. I am really not sure if i have to go again to speak to them or they will call me. Since my parents lived apart, i revealled it to both my parents at a time. I didnt choose the easy parent first. The reason i came up to them at a time is because of communication problem. I was damn scared about my dad blaming my mom which thankfully didnt happen. And my parents are convincing eachother whenever they go downhill. I am thankful for that. But still! I dont know how to take it further. I know that i got to speak to my parents about the person i am in love with. But at the same time, i am super scared of their reactions to what i say. My parents wont even laugh or smile for the next few days after i spoke. They are constantly trying to make me feel guilty and they are now turning towards my brother now. Being the first child really truly sucks. the expection, the responsibility, every single damn thing is put on the shoulders of the first born. I was expected to study more, pick up a prof degree. Work my ass off. But cant marry the one i fall in love with. How stupid! I never let my parents spend so much money for me! I have so many questions in my mind. Please share your thoughts. Plus i am leaving to my native in a day which is making me so scared and helpless. I am going to be surrounded by my relatives for few days which i guess is going to eat me alive. I feel like giving up 😔
