hello i do not know how to explain how i feel right now. i am on the verge of tears but i also feel empty. i have been in a depressed state for the past 2 1/2 months, so my mind is already frail.
my boss at work, ridiculed me for something that i did not do because the customer told them i was ‘agitated’ that they were talking to me. i was not, i was answering their question. the boss does not know me very well though it has been a year since i started, our team is not that large. they referred to me as unprofessional several times, that my choice in words was concerning, and told me that they were shocked that i said that to a customer. the boss then stormed off and slammed the office door. side note, when i do not trust someone to be on my team i do not let them get to know me because the trust is too fragile, so to them i come off as not willing to hurt a fly, quiet, and to myself. i am no longer allowed to talk to customers unless they are within earshot of both us, meaning that if someone stops me i have to check to see if the boss is nearby before i engage in conversation or i have to excuse myself and get someone else to talk to them.
i have been trying to hold back my tears since leaving today. normally by now i would of had dinner, worked out, and be in bed. i thought i could workout my frustration but i could not stop dwelling over the fact that i was put down because of one customer, like people do not have their days and/or some people are genuinely out to get those who work in public service, so i have not worked out. my co-workers who know me better have tried to reassure me that the boss naturally looks for issues with us, i knew that and it was a matter of time before the boss found something to get mad at me for like they do/did everyone else. i did not try to defend myself because of this reason.
i have not left my couch since being home. i am sad. i am slightly annoyed but mostly sad. i am trying not to cry because i do not want the boss to win over my emotions. i feel like nobody should be left with this feeling from someone they work with especially when they do their best. i really like what i do for work, but i do not want to work for this boss anymore. i want to believe this is God telling me He will sent relief in the form of another job doing the same thing but you can never tell.
i don’t have too many other people to talk to about this so i searched for a forum where i could post how i feel.
I am struggling with accepting that when (my boyfriend and I weren’t dating) he had sex with his then girlfriend
I had been with him for 2 years, but then due to change in states, we broke up
It wasn’t cheating or anything
But I’m just in distress that I’m not his first
And it’s bugging me so much
I keep imagining them doing it with her. Even when he is with me, I can’t switch my mind off.
Ummm okay! That is mind which is difficult to control I know you understand that sex not what you should consider etc etc soo I won’t explain you that just try to control your mind be soo damm dissolved with your boyfriend that you will forget that… you’re lucky to be not first one because first relationship is just immature
You know drop the work there itself in office don’t take it back home! If that irritates you alot change job man job is not a big deal trust me you will find better one
